Menifee Mom: Parents, Give Common Core a Chance

By Karen Thomas

Common Core seems to be the buzzword these days. With the school year in full swing and this being the first year of full implementation of Common Core at our schools in Menifee, it's a good time to share my first impressions, at least in the theory behind it.

How it comes through in implementation, I admit, is a different story. Though I'm no expert, I have done some research on the subject to know how it will affect my kids.

When I entered my freshman year of high school (like my daughter this year), my class became the "guinea pigs" for testing an education reform centering on "Outcome Based Education" that was supposed to take over in Oregon. With that program, it seemed that core curriculum was thrown out the window and instead teachers were supposed to focus on developing qualities in the students.

For four years, the focus was on ensuring we became things such as Effective Communicators, Quality Producers, and Collaborative Contributors. The idea was that there is such a vast amount of ever changing information out there, it is better to teach kids how to learn for themselves instead of trying to pack information into their heads.

It was a big change. Having experienced that, I have a different perspective than many on what happens when change hits our schools.

One very positive aspect of Common Core is that there will be uniformity of standards among different states in our country. We have had many opportunities to move, and each time I have looked in depth at the test scores as well as standards taught at different schools in different states. I can verify that California has had the highest standards of all places I've researched.

When No Child Left Behind compared the performance of different states, they weren't comparing apples to apples. Each state set its own timeline for when standards were taught and wrote its own tests to align with that. So, when we were testing our third graders on multiplication, other states were waiting until fourth grade.

Not only does this create an impossible situation to compare states' performances, but it makes it difficult for families who move around. Their child may either repeat a good part of a year's worth of curriculum, or find themselves behind, depending on where they are going.

But let's get to the meat of the issue -- the change in curriculum. It is clear that in some ways there are fewer standards the kids have to learn. However, the idea is that those standards will be taught more in depth so that they are actually understood. Gone will be the days of blindly following math formulas, for example. Instead, the kids will learn why the formula works and how to apply it to real life situations.

Similar to the Outcome Based Education I experienced, Common Core focuses on teaching kids to read non-fiction material, make sense of it, and do something with the knowledge they gain.

These are just a few aspects of Common Core, but they are the ones I really like. We complained a lot about the education reform I experienced in high school, but once I got to college, I did see the value in what we did. I knew how to find and understand information in textbooks and research journals in the library. I knew how to work independently as well as with a group. I could use my research and put together a presentation appropriate for a lay audience or a professional one.

What excites me about Common Core is that the goal is to develop these skills and qualities in our kids that will help them be successful in college and/or career, but it doesn't throw core standards out the window. The ABC's and 123's and everything else on up will still be taught. They are not getting rid of the standards, they are just making them common among the states.

The big complaint I hear is that the government is brainwashing our children. However, the federal government doesn't write the curriculum and they aren't the ones deciding how those standards will be taught. That is done at the local and state level. Common Core simply outlines what the standards need to be.

I know that there are a lot of challenges with Common Core. I think that our kids and teachers will struggle as we transition. It will be difficult to change their mindset with math, for example, that they can't just crunch numbers but they have to understand the concepts behind the number crunching.

I will say that I did very well in math and tutored a lot of my friends in high school, but I never fully understood it. Some would ask, "Why does that work?" and I would say, "I don't know, but it does. Just follow the steps."

Our country has been far behind others in our academic performance. We've also looked at moving abroad, and I can tell you the direction Common Core takes us is in line with the rest of the world. I even discovered recently that new versions of the SAT and ACT college entrance exams are being released that align with Common Core.

Will there be bumps in the road? Yes. Will our kids complain? Most certainly. Will we as parents get confused when they show us their math homework? Probably. I hope that doesn't all mean we will throw in the towel.

There will be changes to Common Core and tweaking that needs to take place, that is expected and part of any program, whether it be in education or the corporate world. But I do think the concepts at the heart of this change are good and needed.

Our job as parents is to support our kids and help them through this transition year. I can tell you from experience, when parents protest, it only makes the kids struggle more and mentally give up. So let our communication be that of cooperation and partnership with our schools, working to find solutions so that we can work together to make this successful and make our kids the best students in the world.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: The Cat Wars Haven't Gotten Any Easier

By Karen Thomas

For the past few months, I've been trying to pretend I didn't see the clumps of cat hair collecting around my yard. It is a sure sign that it is time to shave the cat again, but I was not feeling up to the task. However, after my kids begin to insist that we get it done, I gave in.

I wrote about my cat shaving experience last year, and this one wasn't much better. However, the kids are now a year older. Let me just say, older doesn't always mean more helpful.

The youngest two children were the only ones naive enough to volunteer to help. I got out all the necessary equipment: Long protective gloves and electric pet clippers. My kids thought a cat treat would be good, because that works for the dog. I don't really keep cat treats around, so they thought a can of tuna fish would be just right.

Picture this for a moment: A mom and a first and fifth grader armed with long gloves, a razor, and an open can of tuna, staring down one large unhappy cat with a look that says, "Don't even think about it."

So we began.

It started out OK. He ate some tuna while I began working on his back. The closer I got to his tail and stomach, though, the more agitated he got. Soon a deep growl began in his throat. The cat made it clear that he was NOT happy! I told my fifth grader to grab the cat by the scruff of the neck and lift it in the air so I could finish working his belly.

She grabbed the cat and somewhat succeeded in lifting him. The growling was joined by hissing. The youngest child grabbed the tuna and held it up to his face (while he was hanging in the air), saying, "Here Shadow, want a treat?"

The cat began to twist and squirm, the youngest was chasing his moving head with the tuna can, while the older child was struggling to keep a grip on him. All the while, I was trying to shave a matted area on his belly.

The cat was winning.

I announced, "I think the cat needs a break for a minute." (Really, I needed a break for a minute.)
Despite the gloves, I had sustained a few good scratches and it was time to call in back-up.
Enter the 12-year-old. She is a bit tougher and has a secret desire to show this cat who's boss.

She succeeded in holding him a bit more firmly. The youngest came back out and continued to try to calm him with tuna. Finally, I told her the cat would enjoy the tuna so much more if she waited until we were done. That seemed to make sense and the can disappeared. She was content to observe for now.

Soon the youngest said, "Look, he has one ear up and one ear down. That means something! I have a book that will help us. Let me get it!"

Before I knew it, she stuck a book right between me and the cat and was reading to me the part about cat body language.

"See mom, it says right here that...."

This would be great, if I wasn't currently trying to wrestle a cat with an electric razor! At that point, there was no mystery how the cat was feeling or how I was feeling, for that matter!
Finally, I raised the white flag and called a truce.

The cat looked somewhat like he had gotten hit by a lawnmower, but he had begun to spray us with his stench and I was done fighting.

The cat escaped outside the first chance he got. I imagine him getting picked on by all the neighborhood cats. The thought makes me smile and I think, "Nope, I win!"

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: Lessons Learned About Art, Culture

By Karen Thomas

While academics and sports take up a lot of our family's spare time, I do attempt to help my kids be well-rounded in other areas. So this week a trip to the Los Angeles Museum of Art was on our agenda.

We briefly visited LACMA many years ago and the kids couldn't remember a thing about it. The main thing I remembered was an exhibit with art featuring different colors of florescent lights. I didn't get it. I knew, however, there was a lot more to discover there.

Our visit started at the children's museum, which is basically a place where the kids could draw and paint. It was very relaxing and my girls enjoyed it; well, except for one child. She got frustrated and claimed that her painting was "horrible." Despite my encouraging words, she threw them away. The others left theirs out to dry while we explored.

At first, we saw mostly relics from Asia in years gone by: Pottery, china, furniture, etc. But then we hit the Ahmanson building and were wowed by the modern art exhibits. The kids couldn't believe a blue triangle was art and got a kick out the flying SPAM can.

The next room brought abstract art: Paint splatters and all. "I could do that!" one of them shouted as I quickly told them to remember their museum manners. Soon we came upon a room full of Picasso's artwork. I've always been entertained by his art, but my girls just thought it was plain weird. We took a seat and I asked them to look around and pick which was their favorite. This got them to actually study the works a bit instead of passing them off as strange.

Soon we were enjoying works by Degas, Monet, Van Gogh, and more. We talked about the different styles of painting, the use of dots or lines, light and shadow, depth and perspective. Well, I talked about it and they politely listened. While they weren't completely intrigued, they did show some interest in the various styles and commented about what they liked and didn't like.

Next we took a look at contemporary art that seemed to break all the rules. Most were not paintings, but large three dimensional structures.

I wasn't sure what my kids thought of our visit to the museum until late in the day, when we stopped at a library and gift shop. My older girls started reading through books about some of the artists and styles we had seen. The younger ones looked at postcard prints of the more famous works. I asked them which of the artwork we saw was their favorite. I was amazed when they could not only tell me which one they liked, but why.

We still had some time before we had to go home, so I let them paint one more time. I encouraged them to try out one of the different styles of art we had seen. My oldest ones went for the impressionism styles. I think the idea that that their art didn't have to look perfect was freeing for them. Realizing art didn't have to look like a photograph, the child who had thrown her previous paintings away made not only one, but two paintings, and was quite proud of them.

People sometimes wonder why we should make an effort to be "cultured." I always felt like it gave us a greater perspective on life in general and made us more interesting people. After watching the effect a few hours at an art museum had on just one of my children, however, I think it is so much more than that. Taking time to give our kids cultural experiences can teach our children to appreciate the differences that exist among us and that it's OK to try your own thing.

Whether it's artists daring to paint outside the lines or pilgrims willing to leave everything behind and settle a new country, it's people willing to break the mold and do something creative or stand for something different that brings about growth in our society. Sometimes the hardest lessons for kids (and adults) to learn is that they don't have to be exactly like everyone else. It really is OK to be different.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: Family Togetherness, In the Pool and Out

By Karen Thomas

After enduring eight hot Menifee summers, we finally put in a pool!

The reasons for waiting were many: Cost, housing market crash, safety with toddlers in the house, maintenance, etc. Everything finally came together last fall and we decided to go for it.

Putting in the pool was quite an adventure, but it was worth it. My kids have their friends over more, which I honestly do enjoy, and we've already created some great family memories.

The first pool party we had brought some older teenage boys into the pool, along with their crazy acrobatic flips. My husband and I were quite impressed and, after everyone had gone home, thought we'd like to try it out.

Our kids can bear witness that our first attempts were not pretty. My husband said that I looked like Superman crash landing into the water and his attempts displayed some pretty nice back flops! By the time we were done practicing, we pretty much conceded that we weren't as young as we used to be and that the tricks are best left to the teenagers. Our backs hurt, our necks hurt, and our egos were a little bruised as well.

Our kids, on the other hand, enjoyed seeing mom and dad making a fool of themselves and fail at something. We all shared a good laugh together, but more importantly, our kids realized that it's OK to try and fail. Hopefully it will give them a little more confidence to try out something new the next time they get the opportunity.

They haven't quite attempted the flips yet; they're having too much fun teasing us, but I know they will.

The family environment is such a great opportunity for learning and growth. We can try new things, share experiences together, and know that no matter what the outcome, we will still be loved and accepted. Our lives are so full and busy, it's nice to have something that brings everyone together and causes us to slow down and just relax.

You don't have to have a pool to enjoy family togetherness. Something as simple as cooking dinner together and then sitting down to eat as a family can bring wonderful memories and opportunities to share life's ups and downs. (My kids love to remind me of the time I set the French bread on fire in the oven!)

What matters is that you find something you can enjoy together that lets you slow down, relax, and just be yourself. We all need a safe place where we can leave the world behind and do just that.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: Let's Remember What We're Celebrating

By Karen Thomas

Last weekend, we got to join in on the Menifee tradition of celebrating the 4th of July, our country's Independence Day, a week early. My kids enjoyed the small town parade held before the fireworks and cheered on all the locals as they went by. Even the small amount of candy thrown brought smiles to their faces.

The best part, however, was the fireworks show. It's always a relatively low-key display, by some standards, but nice to enjoy with the kids. As a parent, I especially appreciate not having to fight crowds to get home when it's over!

Our family gathered together in our back yard to watch the fireworks and turned on some patriotic music. As we sang along to "America the Beautiful," "You're a Grand Old Flag," and "My Country 'Tis of Thee, " I couldn't help but feel appreciation to live in this great country.

Many disagree on the direction our country is headed politically, socially, or economically. Some think we're making progress, others think we're headed for doomsday. But either way, I can't help but think how lucky we are to have the freedom to disagree or to fight for change.

I hope that when the 4th of July rolls around, we instill in our kids a sense of patriotism. They may hear our criticism and complaints about things that happen, but they also need to hear about all the good things we have going for us in the USA.

From the pilgrims and the founding fathers to military men and women who serve our country, our history is rich with people who gave all they had to make our country what it is today.

As we gather together this weekend for the real 4th of July celebration, let's remember how good we have it. And with each explosion that goes off in the sky, let's think of those freedoms we enjoy and the people who made that possible.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: There's a Way to Make Every Summer Day Count

By Karen Thomas

It's official: Summer vacation is now in full swing! With all the end of school year events, the last few weeks of school felt like a knock-down, drag-out event. Echoes of, "I can't wait for school to be over," could be heard all around town, from parents and kids alike.

The last weeks of school in my family included field trips, class parties, kindergarten graduation, 8th grade promotion, band concerts, awards ceremonies for multiple children, Jr. Olympics, eight volleyball
games (they packed those in at the end!), soccer playoffs, a piano recital, soccer team parties, and final exams. It is amazing how much we can fit in a day when we have to!

It's no wonder everyone breaths a sign of relief when that final bell rings.

With two of my kids advancing in school, that bell left me with mixed emotions. My first child will be starting high school next year and I'm realizing that I have only four short years left with her at home.

At the other end of the spectrum, my youngest is advancing into first grade. Our little kid years are pretty much gone. As much as I thought I couldn't wait for this, I am going to miss the innocence of those preschool and kindergarten years.

You know, when all the kids in the class are their friend and they can't wait to show you the picture they colored just for you. On the bright side, summer means that the kids are home and you have free time to enjoy activities with them. One of my friends likes to make a summer bucket list with her kids. They talk about all the things they'd like to do during their time off and make a poster.

This helps them focus in on things they want to do each day rather than lazily letting the days go by and finding themselves at the end of summer, realizing they didn't really accomplish anything.

I love this idea! Not a summer has passed where my high expectations of what I wanted to accomplish were not shattered. This year, I'm going to actually have a bit of a schedule each day. Nothing major, but something that will ensure we accomplish a few things and still free time to enjoy.

If we do it right, we will find that we truly enjoy the time our kids have off instead of counting the days until they are back in school again. Our summer vacations are short and the kids grow up fast, so let's be proactive and make each day count!

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: A Reminder to Count Your Blessings

By Karen Thomas

It's not uncommon to have a short encounter with someone totally change your day. We've all experienced rude drivers or shoppers who leave us more than a little irritated. But what's really amazing is how a brief conversation with a stranger can leave you with a new perspective on life.

That's what happened last weekend when I was out to dinner at Texas Roadhouse, celebrating a friend's birthday. As we waited to be seated, a woman across the restaurant caught our eye.

She was simply stunning. It wasn't the fact that she was wearing beautiful clothes or had good hair; it was the aura about her. She wasn't doing anything to draw attention to herself, yet in a busy restaurant, she stood out from everyone else.

As we walked out of the restaurant after dinner, the same woman was standing with a group outside. Again, she just stood out. A friend of mine decided that a compliment was in order. So, she introduced herself to her and explained how we had been commenting on how stunning she looked that evening.

To our surprise, the woman shared that she had just beaten cancer.

"On this side of cancer," she said, "everything in life is wonderful."

A second chance on life: That was her story.

Her comment has stayed with me all week. So often we get downtrodden by the little things: Too much to do in too little time, dirty dishes left in the family room, backpacks scattered about the house, having to wait out a four-hour window for a repair man, or being stuck in traffic.

I imagine that having a second chance at life makes you grateful to even be around to experience those things. Someone once told me to be grateful for the laundry and dishes, because it's evidence that you have a family and a home where those things can collect.

I'm thankful to have crossed paths with this cancer survivor. Her unexpected story made me realize that instead of getting annoyed by the little things in life, I need to be quick to count my blessings and be thankful I'm here to experience another day.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: A Time to Remember All the Blessings

By Karen Thomas

Mother's Day: A time to pause and think of all the things good women do for children. Whether it's their own child or not, so many women sacrifice so much of themselves for the well-being of another.

I think most of us didn't fully appreciate all our mothers did for us until we became a parent ourselves and experienced how difficult it is. Each stage of our children's lives are filled with challenges. Sometimes the only thing that gets us through it is the love we have for our kids.

I was remembering the other day how hard it was when my youngest was a baby and I had three somewhat needy elementary kids. When it was time to do homework, it seemed they all needed help at the same time. I'd go from kid to kid, answering questions, only to hear, "Mom, (the baby) is coloring on my homework!"

Sure enough, my youngest had climbed up on the table and was scribbling all over their work. I guess she saw all of us staring at those papers and was just trying to figure out what was so interesting. Or, she was trying to remove the object that was taking my attention away from her.

In a moment, she'd reach her hand out and grab the papers and have them scrunched up and torn. My attempts to pull her away from the table brought screaming and crying like only a toddler can do, further frustrating homework efforts. The next thing I'd hear was, "I can't concentrate with her crying like that!"

No need to blame dogs. In our house, the note to school sometimes read, "I'm sorry, but the baby ate her homework."

Bedtime offered different challenges. So many nights, our bedtime routine included sitting on the floor trying to lull the baby to sleep while reading bedtime stories to the older children. Of course, the baby would usually end up crying and our story would be interrupted. Instead of the picture perfect routine of tucking kids in at night, we often ended up with crying and chaos because there just weren't enough parents to handle everyone's wants at the same time.

As the kids get older the challenges don't necessarily get easier, they just change. Once they get home from school, the day often turns into a whirlwind of activity. Helping kids study for tests, buying supplies for projects, showing them how to do a Power Point presentation, studying the math book in effort to help them with a problem, consoling a kid who's had a tough day, making them dinner, or figuring out how to get four kids to four different activities that always seem to start at the same time are just a few of the things we juggle in those short hours between school and bedtime.

Yes, being a mom is a challenge. Often Dads do so much to help out, and I'm not discounting that. They too play an important role in the life of a child. But in most cases the juggling is left to the mom. Though we often get down on ourselves for our inability to be everything to everyone all the time, the efforts we make do matter. Our caring and love alone make a difference in the lives of the children around us.

I hope that last weekend we all remembered the moms in our lives, whether it was one who raised us or someone who took on that role in our life in some way. Most of us don't give them enough credit or thanks for the sacrifices they made for us or the time they took to shape us into the person we have become.

As an adult, I can look back now and say, "Thanks, Mom, for plugging away day after day, for giving up so much of yourself, for not giving up when things seemed unbearable, for doing the best you could for your kids, and for loving each of us individually."

As the mother of four girls, I haven't heard those sincere words of thanks just yet. But I do get some pretty amusing and heartfelt gifts each Mother's Day. For now, I treasure those hand prints and notes. They are enough to keep this mom juggling.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: Easter Egg Hunt Scored Another Hit

By Karen Thomas

It was Saturday morning of the annual Menifee community Easter egg hunt. I walked through the door from my weekly group long run and found my family all still in bed. The hunt was set to start in just 45 minutes! Our spring break sleep habits were seriously encroaching on our plans for the day.

I quickly surveyed my kids: "Does anyone still want to go to the Easter egg hunt?"

The answer was a unanimous, "Yes!" (At least from the younger kids. There was one member who was a bit less enthusiastic about rushing out the door for plastic eggs.) After a scurry to get changed, gather the baskets from the attic and find some breakfast, we were in the car and on our way.

We haven't been to the Marion Ashley Community Center very often and we were pleased to see that the newly completed section of Menifee Road made it a short drive. We arrived at 10 a.m. on the dot, just when the flyer said the event would begin. However, we soon learned that the hunt didn't actually start until 10:45.

Our early arrival was not a disappointment, though, because there were several fun activities to keep the kids busy. They participated in a bean bag toss and a ring toss and won treats. My husband and I liked the idea of the bunny hop race, a version of the potato sack races we did as kids. It took A LOT of prodding, but our girls finally participated.

We enjoyed seeing the kids, young and old, try to hop down the little race track. One kid would take the lead, only to get caught up in his sack, fall down, and get passed by. Our girls all admitted it was exhausting trying to hop down the track and back, but they had fun. We enjoyed a bit of nostalgia.

The main event, the egg hunt, did not disappoint. The hunts were organized by age groups, to make it fair, and there was no shortage of eggs! For the older groups, the entire outfield was littered with eggs.

Our youngest daughter had a small section to hunt in. We remembered how last year she would pick up an egg and open it to see what was inside before gathering another egg. Needless to say, she didn't get many that year. This time she knew what to do. Running to an open area with lots of eggs, she started picking them up as fast as she could. Good thing, too, because in less than two minutes the eggs were gone.

I noticed an event worker had kept back a few eggs to give to some little ones who had missed the hunt or not gotten many. I was impressed at their thoughtfulness.

The oldest kids were led to the backstops of the baseball fields. You could see it in their eyes: they were ready to race. We watched as our two kids strategically positioned themselves and discussed their egg collecting plans.

With their eye set on a particular patch of grass, they listened for the signal. Soon we heard, "On your mark, get set, go!" and the kids were off, leaving a cloud of dust behind them. We watched all the kids running everywhere, frantically gathering as many eggs as possible. We laughed when we noticed one daughter's basket was so full that eggs fell out as she ran to another area. Kids were right behind her, picking them up!

It was a brief and fun way to start our Easter weekend. I really appreciated that the activities were planned for Saturday, leaving Sunday free for family and religious services. Valley-Wide Recreation has held this event in Menifee for many years and each time my kids have enjoyed it.

It would have been easier to let everyone stay in bed and enjoy a lazy Saturday morning, but we would have missed an opportunity to create memories. Sometimes the best family events and traditions are the little things we do.

Thanks, Valley-Wide, for continuing a great Menifee Easter tradition and helping a growing city maintain a small town feel!

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: The Approach to Motherhood is Crucial

By Karen Thomas

On a recent Monday morning, I found myself rejoicing as I sent my kids off to school. It had been a weekend filled with drama, senseless arguments, and overall frustration for me as a mother. To top it off, the house had become a complete disaster zone. With each kid I dropped off at school, I felt as if a weight was being lifted from my shoulders.

Before I could even think of tackling the chores at home, though, I needed a stress relieving run. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed, so that day I decided to listen to a podcast about motherhood as I ran. There was so much going through my mind, I didn't focus on most of what I heard. But one phrase stuck out: "Deliberate Motherhood."

I honestly couldn't tell you what the podcast said this meant, but it was such an interesting phrase it got me thinking. That morning I just couldn't wait to get my kids out of the house and out of my hair. I know all moms feel that way from time to time. Still, I wondered if I was deliberately being a mother to my kids, or if I was simply surviving each day.

I stearted looking at the day to day happenings in life, like school, homework, meals, sports, chores, shopping, playtime, etc. and all the issues that arise in the midst of it. I wondered if I use those events to purposely teach my children skills they need for life, or if I am just trying to check things off of a "to do list." Do I take advantage of teachable moments?

As I've tried to mother my children more "deliberately," I've realized that it doesn't necessarily mean making great changes to the things I am already doing. It's more about changing my attitude and sometimes my approach. I realize that even the little routine things we do are shaping the childhood memories my kids will have as adults.

When I welcome my kids home from school, by simply being sincere and taking a moment to stop and greet them, I am purposely helping them feel loved at home and happy to be here.

When we go to soccer practice, if I give them a few words of encouragement on the way or take time to ask meaningful questions about practice afterwards (and actually focus on their answers), then I am becoming a part of that soccer experience with them.

When they ask for help with homework, I can slow down and focus as I help them instead of just giving them rushed advice as I pass by.

I've found that changing my approach helps me to enjoy motherhood more and helps my kids to sense that I enjoy being a mom; that I enjoy being their mom. With the busy pace of life, it is easy to get caught up in just getting things done. If we can remember to get those things done with a purpose in mind, we are deliberately being the mom our kids need.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: More Lessons Learned From Another Shaker

By Karen Thomas

Did your family feel the earthquake last weekend? Mine did. We were all sitting upstairs talking on my bed when everything started rumbling. It was a small shaker, but it certainly got our attention!

I'd like to say that our efforts to teach our kids to "duck, cover, and hold on" were successful and everyone grabbed a pillow to protect their heads, but we all just sat there saying, "We're having an earthquake!" I know it didn't require action, but I'd like to have seen some type of thoughtful reaction. At least I can proudly report that no one panicked.

After a long quiet period, it seems the earthquake faults have awakened again. Perhaps the little shaker we had was also a wake-up call to all of us that we need to be prepared.

Though the city of Menifee isn't on top of any major faults, it does lie between the San Jacinto Fault and Elsinore Fault. Some experts say the Elsinore fault is at high risk of producing a big quake soon.

When you have little kids, preparing for an earthquake can be a little tricky. You have to find that balance between teaching them what we need to do and not scaring them so much that they won't leave your side! For the most part, though, I have found that helping our kids feel prepared eases their fears.

We found some great videos online that demonstrate what to do and what not to do. We previewed them first to determine which ones were most appropriate for our kids. It really helped them visualize what it would be like in an actual earthquake and helped them to see what they can do to be safe in different situations: Lying in bed, in the car, at school, playing outside, etc. For days afterwards, our kids would ask, "What should I do in this room if there was an earthquake?"

The USGS and FEMA websites have pages dedicated to teaching kids how to be prepared. There are even online games. The Earthquake Country Alliance outlined the following seven basic steps for earthquake preparedness:

Step 1: Secure your space by identifying hazards and securing moveable items. (Our family is reminded that we need to secure that tall heavy armoire and bunk beds in the kids room!)

Step 2: Plan to be safe by creating a disaster plan and deciding how you will communicate in an emergency. (We told our kids where our alternate meeting place is in case our home is not accessible.)

Step 3: Organize disaster supplies in convenient locations. (We have backpacks with basic food and emergency supplies for each member of our family. It is also advised that you keep a flashlight, sneakers, and leather gloves next to the bed to aid in escaping a major disaster.)

Step 4: Minimize financial hardship by organizing important documents, strengthening your property, and considering insurance. (Keeping insurance documents, birth certificates, etc . in a fireproof safe is always a good idea.)

Step 5: Drop, Cover, and Hold On when the earth shakes. (We learned that you shouldn't run outside and if you are in bed, stay there. You shouldn't run to your kids' rooms because you are likely to get hurt on the way, making you no help to them when shaking stops. And -- a surprise to me -- doorways are not the safest place!)

Step 6: Improve safety after earthquakes by evacuating if necessary, helping the injured, and preventing further injuries or damage. (In the event there is damage, you should shut off your main gas line and avoid using any electricity; a spark could cause an explosion if there is a gas leak.)

Step 7: Restore daily life by reconnecting with others, repairing damage, and rebuilding community.

I love step 7! Whenever there is a major disaster, we see contrasting images of communities pulling together and looters taking advantage of the situation. In Menifee, our citizens have shown a lot of support for others who've experienced their own personal disasters of one kind or another. I'd like to think that we would help dig each other out in a large scale disaster, too.

If nothing else, teach the members of your family to "Duck, Cover, and Hold On." It just may save their life someday.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: It's Time to Just Get Out There and Run

By Karen Thomas

Winter is officially over (well, what was supposed to be winter, anyway!) and race season is in full swing.

I used to think that races were for runners who had a natural ability, were fast, and trained hard all the time. But I've learned that most of the participants are average people, often moms like me, who started running to get in shape.

I signed up for my first race because I had a group of friends who were going to train for it and it was the perfect opportunity to cross something off of my bucket list. At the time, my only goal was to complete the race. I never thought it would turn into a hobby. But once I got through the pain (yes, I will admit to some pain) of training and experienced the thrill of crossing the finish line, I could only think about how much I wanted to do it again!

Yes, running is a bit addicting.

It's now been almost two years since my first race. While squeezing in runs during the week and waking up early on Saturday to get a long run in before a busy day with the kids can be difficult, I continue to do it. Let me share with you why I run and why, if you have any desire to be a runner, you should give it a try.

1. It's Convenient and It's Free: Well, not completely free. You do need a decent pair of running shoes and if you sign up for races, there are entry fees. However, there is no gym membership to pay for, no driving to the gym, and no limitations as to where or when you can run. Just step out your door and get going! In just 30 minutes, you can be done with a great workout.

2. You Get Time to Yourself: I love to listen to fun music while I run, but I also will turn on podcasts that let me think or inspire me. Sometimes I just leave the headphones off and use the time to sort out my thoughts. With our busy lives, we all need some time to do just that.

3. I Have More Energy: OK, there are times I come home just dead tired. But most of the time my days are way more productive when I start with a run. It just gets me moving and often the momentum gets carried throughout the rest of the day. Plus, being in better shape gives you more energy.

4. A Sense of Achievement: I think the hardest part of being a mom is feeling like you never accomplish anything. You finish the laundry only to turn around and see the baskets filling up again. The dishes never end, there is always food to be prepared, and there are always messes to clean up. But with running I can set goals, track my progress, and when a race is over I can feel like I actually achieved something tangible. Yes, motherhood is rewarding in more ways than I can count, but sometimes a mom just needs something she can accomplish that is hers alone and completely within her control.

5. Social Time: OK, so this contradicts reason No. 2 a bit, but I also love to run with friends. Short runs are generally time for myself, but the best part of a long run is being with friends. It's great to get together with other moms and solve all of life's problems while completing a 10-mile run. I really could have used this when my kids were all little!

Despite the true enjoyment I now find in running, the thing that really keeps me motivated are races. Once I'm signed up, my training takes on new meaning.

So find a race that interests you (a nightime glow race, a mud run, a color run, an obstacle race, or even just an ordinary 5K or half marathon; a quick Internet search will yield tons of options), con a friend into signing up with you, and get going! If you want to stay really close to home, the city of Menifee hosts a 5K and half marathon in May as well as an annual Veteran's day race.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and run!

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other week. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: High School Years Have Finally Arrived

By Karen Thomas

Last week, my husband and I had the opportunity to take our daughter to high school orientation. It was the first time we had set foot in a high school since our own high school days. It was both nostalgic and terrifying at the same time!

When you have four daughters, you get comments all the time about how hard it is going to be when they are all teenagers. After previewing the world of high school, I've realized that those years are now upon us.

We met up with some of her friends and their parents as we arrived at the gym and took our places in the bleachers. The orientation basically consisted of performances by several of the clubs in the school. The marching band played a fight song while the cheerleaders led a cheer. We also were entertained by the color guard, a Polynesian dance club, another dance club, NJROTC, robotics club, and the drama club.

It was great to see the variety of activities and sports our kids can be involved in while navigating their way through high school. But at the same time, it was a wake-up call to the fact that these kids are growing up. In just four years, they will pretty much be adults and ready to live on their own at college.

As I watched the girls look on at the world that awaits them, I noticed that they were feeling a bit shocked and overwhelmed as well. There was definitely a different feeling being among high school students.

Seeing their apprehension brought me a bit of comfort. It was kind of like that day when you drop off your kindergartner at their first day of school. You don't want them to be clingy and cry, but at the same time it's nice when they feel a little unsure about taking that next step in life. It's nice to know that as much as she tries to convince you otherwise, your child really isn't in a hurry to grow up.

The girls were interested in many sports and activities and we enjoyed seeing them visit the different stations set up where they could sign an interest list. It was fun to see them get excited as they started shaping their high school years. I was pleased to see that they were looking at both things that would be fun and things that would lead them toward academic success.

As parents, we joked with our kids about how they should choose something like NJROTC, where they are fully clothed and get to throw guns around. (A good way to avoid sending the wrong messages to hormonal boys! Yes, I'm not ready to have a daughter in high school.)

As scary as it is, I know that high school will be a great experience for our daughter. Over these next four years, she will grow into the kind of person she'll be as an adult. So as much as I want her to stay my little girl, I know that she has to grow up. It's my job to encourage her to try new things and guide her as she navigates these new waters so that someday when she's the mom, she can look back at her own high school years with good memories and not regret.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other Thursday. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: A Mother Will Always Be in Demand

By Karen Thomas

It's interesting how when kids needs help, they almost always call for mom. When our babies first learn to talk, our hearts melt when they finally learn to say "Mama." But somehow, after years of hearing our kids yell, "Mom! Can you...," or "Mom! I need....," it somehow loses that special place in our heart.

I was away from home the other night attending a meeting, so my husband put the kids to bed. He often does this, but it isn't often that I'm away at night. I had gotten home a few minutes after he had left our youngest daughter's room when I heard her yell, "Dad!"

Most nights she calls out, having one last thing that she just has to tell us before she goes to sleep. However, she always calls for me by yelling, "Mom!" Rarely does she yell for Dad.

But this time, it's Dad she wants. I sneak by her room and peek into our other daughter's room, where my husband is. "Guess what! For once she is actually calling for you! You better go see what she needs," I tell him. I am smiling and really enjoying this moment.

With this bit of freedom, I decide to lay low and keep my arrival home unknown. I go in my own room and get myself ready for bed when my husband walks in with a big smile on his face, chuckling to himself.

"Well," he says, "I went into her room to see what she wants and she said, 'Dad, when Mom gets home will you tell her to come in here?' "

Classic. I can't help but laugh along with him. Yup, it seems a mom never truly gets away.

Still, I am working on breaking the cycle of the kids always turning to me for help. It's a pretty normal thing, always wanting mom. I guess it's a habit that comes because dads are usually away at work most of the day. But when they are sitting right next to Dad and still call for Mom to help, that's when I get irritated. To be fair, it irritates my husband, too.

I suppose that someday the requests will stop coming in and I'll find myself wishing my kids still needed me. Even though there are days when I think I'll scream if I hear someone call for Mom one more time, it is nice to be needed.

It's especially nice when you do announce that you're home and find that what the child wants is a hug and a kiss goodnight. For that, I'll answer the call for "Mom" anytime.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other Thursday. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: 10 Reasons to Like Living in Menifee

By Karen Thomas

I was watching my "Facebook Movie" this week, along with those of many friends, and had a few realizations. Not only did it make me sentimental for the years gone by (it's amazing how a 60-second segment can make you cry!), but it made me realize how many good memories and friends we've made while living in Menifee.

I will admit, when we first moved to Menifee we weren't exactly in love with the area. While we liked the small town feel, we couldn't get over how, well, UGLY it was.

We've had a few opportunities to relocate over the years, but the downturn in the housing market made it difficult to move. As a result, we've stuck around a lot longer than we ever expected. What's really surprising to us, though, is that now we find that we really don't want to move that much after all. Menifee has become home.

The more I experience life, the more I realize that you can be happy anywhere you live. It really all depends on the attitude you bring to the experience. If it's cold and snowy, you put on your winter gear and enjoy it. (Or, you sit by the fire with some hot cocoa and a good book!)

If it is mild and sunny in the middle of winter, you head outside and appreciate the amazing weather we have been given and say, "I LOVE CALIFORNIA WINTERS!" (I did just that last weekend as I went mountain biking with some friends in a t-shirt and shorts.)

So while no place is perfect, I've come to appreciate a lot of great things about our hometown. I'd like to share my top 10 list, "Why I like Menifee."

1. Everything is close by: Whether it's a trip to the grocery store or taking the kids to school, I don't have to drive far. If I want a specialty store, I can take a quick cruise down to Temecula.

2. Parks and Recreation: I love that there are multiple playgrounds within walking distance. If you are looking for sports, there are a lot of programs available. There may not be everything, but there is certainly far more than enough to keep my family busy!

3. Small Town Events: From parades to community events in the park, you can attend these and be sure to find many familiar faces and just enough activity to make the day special.

4. Safety: While we are wise to be cautious, we do not have reason to fear taking a walk around town or our neighborhood.

5. Active People: Whenever I head out for a run, I am guaranteed to see many other people out walking, running, or riding bikes. The large group of cyclists that pass me and the moms pushing kids in strollers give me a sense of community.

6. Proximity to Mountains, Beaches, and Desert: In a short drive, you can either be hiking or skiing in the mountains, playing on the beach, or riding in the desert.

7. Mild Weather: It is still hard to get over a 70-degree Christmas day, but you really can't beat our weather. How awesome is it that we can enjoy outdoor sports in the middle of winter without bundling up? I've realized I prefer a couple hot summer months over a long winter. Besides, when it's hot, we can find a pool or head to the beach!

8. Good Food: I'm not referring to Menifee necessarily, but our general area. Of all places we've lived, we have found the best food here. Food from all parts of the world are easy to find and delicious. It isn't hard finding stores that sell specialty ingredients so we can cook a variety of food at home as well.

9. Big City Attractions: I love the amenities a big city has to offer, like museums, amusement parks, zoos, professional sports, and Broadway shows, but I don't want to live there. We are close enough to many big cities that we can take a day or half day trip to enjoy things there, and still come home to sleep in our own bed.

10. Friends: The longer you live somewhere, the deeper your roots go. We don't have family here, but we do have friends that have become like family. In a town with so many families and so many activities to enjoy, it's not hard to find people who share your interests.

With all the area has to offer, my family has never once been bored while living in Menifee! Our biggest challenge is finding the time to enjoy all the area has to offer. I still may not call Menifee beautiful, but I do call it home.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every other Thursday. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: It's Time to Focus on Water Preservation

By Karen Thomas

It is an interesting thing living through a California drought when you've experienced the same in other wetter states. Until recently, I wasn't even aware that we are currently experiencing the worst drought in California history. Were you?

We experienced a drought when we lived in Pennsylvania. In that area, when there is a drought, no one is allowed to irrigate at all (no watering lawns or gardens) or wash their cars. We had to save rainwater in barrels (yes, we got some rain during the drought) and use buckets to catch water from the shower as it heated up if we wanted to water anything outside.

In Colorado, we always had watering restrictions, whether or not there was a drought. You were only allowed to water on certain days of the week, depending on your address, and each sprinkler zone could only run for a few minutes maximum. The hours you could water each day were limited as well. If you were caught watering too long or at the wrong time, you faced hefty fines. Also, there were only a few months during the year you were allowed to plant sod, because it requires extra water the first few weeks.

After living in these states, we came to the California desert. We were shocked to find out that here we can water whenever we want, as much as we want, even during a drought (which have been most of the years we've lived here). It is not unusual to see lawn sprinklers going off in the middle of a 100-degree day, to see them running in the middle of a heavy downpour, or to see excess water pouring off the lawn onto the sidewalk.

Now that we are in a pretty severe situation, I've heard we may actually have water restrictions headed our way. Some people see this as a sign of how bad it has gotten, but I'm just left thinking, "It's about time!"

Whether we are legally restricted in our water use, it would be wise for all of us to assess our water use habits and make some corrections. If we all do our part, we can make the water we do have stretch a bit further.

In our family, we've talked to our children about the severity of our drought here in California and most of the western United States. If we get all members of the house involved, little changes can make a big difference.

Here are some simple ideas my family is working on. They don't require a trip to the home improvement store, so you can start saving water today!

1. Only water the lawn during early morning hours. Right now, lawns need little water. Once a week is sufficient. In the summer, split your watering into two very short cycles a couple hours apart. This allows the water to soak in deeper and minimizes run-off.

2. Limit showers to five minutes. For some, it also means limiting showers to once per day. (I never would have thought that would happen in my house; there was a time I had to plead for my kids to shower!) Using a timer not only helps keep you on track, but it can help turn the task into a game for your kids as they race the clock.

3. Start filling the tub immediately. Don't let the cold water go down the drain while you wait for hot. Just mix them together and adjust the temperature as it fills.

4. Turn off the water when you brush your teeth. We've all heard this; now let's do it!

5. Run only full loads in the dishwasher. For those who wash by hand, fill a sink with rinse water instead of running the tap the whole time.

6. Use a broom to clean off your patio instead of hosing it down.

There are many, many more ways you can conserve water. The key is to be aware of the problem and do something to help California get through this drought. Make sure your kids understand the situation and make them feel empowered to be part of the solution. You just may find that they are the ones reminding you!

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every Thursday. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: Here's One Resolution Worth Keeping

By Karen Thomas

I know, I know, making New Year's Resolutions is maybe a bit lame and out of date, but every year I still love the idea of a fresh start to a new year. It is a great time to evaluate what you are doing right and what you want to change.

Now that we are approaching the end of January, it's a good time to self-check and see how those resolutions are coming along.

On New Year's Eve, I decided to get my kids involved in making some resolutions. I tried to explain to them what they are and talked about some of my resolutions. They seemed little interested in the idea.

"Come on," I said. "Isn't there something you would like to do better or accomplish this year?"

Again, I was met with blank stares. After a few minutes, though, one of them did say something about resolving to win a video game they had been working on ... not exactly the kind of resolution I had in mind, but at least this child was thinking.

I pushed forward and shared my resolutions; one of them being to hug my children goodnight every night. Yes, I am a little surprised myself that I have gotten away from doing this. I guess that as my kids got older and more independent and I no longer had to "tuck them into bed," the hugs became less frequent.

I thought my words had fallen on deaf ears, as the topic of conversation soon moved on to our plans for our New Year's Eve celebration.

However, that night after ALL my kids managed to stay up past midnight, I heard one of my children calling down the hall, "Don't forget, you promised to hug us goodnight every night!"

What mom can resist climbing out of bed after hearing that? The fact that it meant something to her made me realize even more how important it is that of all resolutions, this is one I need to follow through on.

You see, every day our kids are growing up. With one approaching high school and my baby in Kindergarten, I've realized even more how my time with them is slipping away. I've got to cherish them and make time for the little things, even things like a goodnight hug. Before I know it, those beds will be empty.

So maybe it is a bit lame to make resolutions just because of some arbitrary date on the calendar, but this year I'm glad I took the time to do it and to make them known. Because really, anything that motivates us to make positive changes in our life, or in the life of our kids, is a good thing.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every Thursday. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: All Local Motorists Feel the Same Frustration

By Karen Thomas

In the eight years I've lived here, I've seen a lot of changes come to our city. Most of them have been welcome. Being able to shop local and avoid the drive to Temecula is definitely nice. Seeing some beauty added to our landscape is also a plus. What isn't nice, though, is the traffic that comes with growth. At the moment, a drive south on the 215 to shop can actually be easier!

It is amazing the sense of dread I feel when I find out that one of my kids has soccer practice "on the other side of the freeway." Though it might only be a couple miles away, the trip can take 15-20 minutes or more. My kids aren't the only impatient ones when we go from thinking we'll be early to being late!

For all those who cross the freeway in the afternoon, you know what I mean. I'm sure I'm not the only one to second guess that trip to Target or some other destination because of the traffic.

Thankfully, our city has projects underway to improve the situation. Up until last week, it has been mostly painless. Sure, things are torn up and definitely inconvenient for those who live nearby or rely on sidewalks on that street, but generally it hasn't been too bad.

This week, though, when traffic went down to one lane on Newport Road, it got really crazy! I am sure that when the overpass work begins, we'll all be grumbling even louder.

When I get really irritated, I try to remember how much better it will be when it is all done. Remember the 45-minute drive we used to have coming home from Temecula?

I have horrible memories of hungry crying kids in the back of my car when we used to drive home from gymnastics in Temecula. No matter how hard I tried, our classes always got out during rush hour. That drive was one reason I did not argue when my kids decided they were done with gymnastics.

However, now that the freeway has expanded to three lanes, it is back to taking 15 minutes or less. I remember the first time I drove on the expanded freeway during the afternoon. The first thing I said when I walked through my front door was, "I didn't have to hit the brakes or stop even once while on the freeway!" It was amazing!

Because the major overpass projects aren't expected to be done until 2016 and 2017, it looks like we'll be clinging to memories like this for a while.

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every Thursday. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: Time to Begin Another Hamster Adventure

By Karen Thomas

This week we finally let our daughter buy a hamster. This is our second time having one.

The first one belonged to a different daughter. We consented that time because we figured a hamster is one pet you know will not be a long-term commitment. It’s not like a dog or cat that you know will be a part of your family for many years. Let’s face it, hamsters just don’t live that long. Besides, I always wanted a hamster growing up, so deep inside, I kinda wanted one, too.

It turned out, hamster ownership wasn’t quite as easy as we expected. First off, those cages get pretty smelly and are more work to clean out than a litter box. The next surprise came when our daughter went to check on the hamster one day and it had disappeared. No, it wasn’t hiding, it was gone!

We first suspected the dog, but our daughter was certain her door had been kept closed. We searched all over, but just couldn’t find it. Later that day, we noticed some carpet next to her closet door was chewed up. After digging a bit deeper, we found the stuffed animals weren’t the only things that had made the closet their home! We found the hamster hiding in the back corner.

It had a little bloody spot on its body, which had my daughter in tears. We think it must have scratched itself on the carpet tack strip. As we consoled her and assured her the hamster would be just fine and certainly didn’t need a vet (no way am I taking a $12 pet to the vet!), we noticed a package of fruit snacks had been chewed open. Apparently, our hamster had a sweet tooth!

What really irritated my husband and I, though, was that our carpet was now damaged! We managed to patch it with a little square of carpet from inside the closet, but it will never look the same. Lesson learned: Dogs and cats aren’t the only pets that can damage your home!

After that, our hamster cage got a lock on it. Our little Houdini was not getting out again.

It was only a few months later that we noticed a stench in the bedroom. This was not the normal, “It’s time to clean the cage!” stench. It was much worse. We set out to clean the cage and noticed that a large bulge was forming on the hamster’s side. Over the next week or two, it got bigger, and the symptoms got stinkier. We think it had cancer.

It was not a pleasant ending for our pet.

Thankfully it was over quickly, but our daughter was pretty upset. My husband and I saw the thing mostly as a dead rodent, but to her it was her PET and she mourned its loss. We did our best to comfort her, but in our heads all we could think was, “How are we going to dispose of this thing?”

It didn’t seem right to throw it in the trash. That definitely wouldn’t go over well with our daughter. So the only alternative we saw was to bury it on the hill in our backyard. My daughter found a little shoebox and some tissues to wrap it in. My husband dug the hole. My daughter found a nice smooth rock and made a gravestone.

When it was time to bury the hamster, all of our children came out to watch the event. It was raining and cold and we were all gathered around the hole with umbrellas.

It was a classic funeral scene. Our daughter started crying. My husband, who never liked the thing, had compassion and said a few kind words about the hamster. (This was turning into a full-on pet funeral!) The kids all took turns sharing some good memory they had of the hamster.

As I stood there listening to our kids and realizing the experience this had been for them, out of the corner of my eye I noticed our dog looking on from the distance. I knew he was just waiting for us to leave so he could finally get the prize we had kept from him! My husband and I just looked at each other. It was all we could do to not laugh at the situation we were experiencing. It was a classic sitcom episode.

So, here we go again. We’ve begun another adventure with a pet hamster. Pets, and kids, certainly keep life interesting!

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every Thursday. Comments are welcome.

Menifee Mom: Family Bonding Around the Kitchen Sink?

By Karen Thomas

Chores are one of the necessary battles moms face with their kids. We hated them when we were kids, but now that we’re the mom, we realize how important they are. Not only do they teach our kids important life skills, but they help us accomplish the never-ending tasks that come with taking care of a home and family.

Sometimes, though, when the kids insist on doing a substandard job or argue every step of the way, we wonder if it is just easier to do it ourselves!

A few months ago, we noticed that our dishwasher wasn’t doing a very good job getting our dishes clean. We found we had to rewash much of what had gone into it. The kids, of course, blamed each other for the problem. "She didn’t rinse them right" and "She always loads them wrong," were often heard.

Well, it got so bad that clearly something was wrong with the machine, not just the humans running it. We inspected it and found it wasn’t spraying on the top. So, my husband and I searched the "University of YouTube" to find solutions.

We were amazed to find just what we were looking for: A video showing step-by-step how to solve our problem. We started taking apart the dishwasher to clean out the food grinder in the bottom.
As soon as we took apart the machine, we found the problem: Foreign objects stuck in the grinder mechanism.

Most notable was the large San Diego Zoo window cling, the popsicle stick, and the chicken bones that had somehow been dropped into the dishwasher and made their way through the drain. It was clear that dishes hadn’t always been properly scraped and that at some point toddlers of ours had dropped a few things in, too.

After cleaning it out, we had a working dishwasher again ... for a few days. Turns out we need to replace the grinder mechanism. So in the meantime, we have been doing dishes the old-fashioned way. It hasn’t been nearly as inconvenient as I expected it to be. As a bonus, my kids are getting a lot of practice!

In the beginning, the kids were good sports about it. I found that I enjoyed the time I got to spend with them. It was uninterrupted time. We would talk about things and sometimes could even be heard singing Christmas songs as we washed together. It wasn’t long, though, until the novelty wore off and now it is just another dreaded chore. Famous lines from our kids this past week:

"This isn’t clean, wash it again." Then of course the washer replies, "It is clean, you just aren’t rinsing right!"

"Ew, the water is gross! There’s floaties in it. I’m not sticking my hand in there!"

"The water’s too hot!"

"Mom! She’s not working fast enough."

"Hurry up ... we’ve been doing this forever!"

"Mom, she just dropped a glass in the sink and broke another glass and a plate. Now there is broken glass in the dish water with all the dishes! I think she’s just trying to get out of washing."

More often than not, though, I’ve found that this new task isn’t all that bad. When we aren’t working alongside the girls, we are often entertained by the conversations they carry on while they work. There are squabbles, but there are also moments of laughter and joking. The best part is, unlike the past, I’ve always got cupboards full of clean dishes!

Thankfully this has all happened during their time off from school, so they have more time to do chores. I’m not sure how well this will work when we are back to hours of homework every night, but hopefully by then they will have either gotten really efficient at washing them or we will have repaired the machine.

Either way, this is one chore battle that was worth following through on. The unexpected bonus: With all the soapy water they keep splashing on the floor, that area of my kitchen stays really clean!

Karen Thomas is a stay at home mom of four daughters, has been on the PTA board at her kids' school for four years, and is a volunteer at her church, in addition to her activities as a volunteer soccer referee, a piano teacher, and a runner. Her column will appear here every Thursday. Comments are welcome.