Man About Menifee: It's Time to Lend a Helping Hand

By David Baker

I don’t consider myself overly religious or sentimental, but this weekend, something amazing happened to my family.

My son Nikk, age 18, graduated from Santa Rosa Academy last Friday, so my wife’s father and stepmother flew in for the occasion. We spent a few days with them, and while I had to work on Saturday, my wife and kids spent the day with them.

They went to Mulligan’s and then back to the hotel for some pool time. I met them at the hotel after work and we said our goodbyes. It was too late to cook anything, so we decided to stop at McDonald’s in Lake Elsinore.

Typically when we go to McDonald’s or any other establishment, I try to go through the drive-through, but something made me want to go inside. I still don’t know exactly what. We ordered our food and I let the kids take Joshuah, 15 months, into the play area.

That’s when we met a young woman and her 6-month-old son. Out of respect for their privacy, I’ll call them Krystal and Lawrence.

While Joshuah and Lawrence got to know each other, I learned that Krystal, age 20, and her boyfriend, age 22, had moved to California a few years ago to pursue a music career and they found themselves working as street performers in Los Angeles. They even found themselves on YouTube. They lived the “starving artist” lifestyle until their little surprise, Lawrence, came along.

Krystal told us they were staying at a hotel down the street, trying their best to make ends meet. She was incredibly upbeat about her situation, and I found her strength of character very admirable. I gave her our phone numbers and told her we had a lot of old baby things that Joshuah was no longer using that we would be happy to give her. She seemed very excited about that, because they had to leave a lot of things behind when they moved to Lake Elsinore.

When my wife and I got home, we both had the same thought. Here was a young woman with all the drive and determination to change her life, but without the means to do it. We had to be part of the solution. We had been close to homelessness ourselves, but were blessed by help from family and friends.

Krystal texted my wife Sunday night to to set up a time for her to come by. We invited them to dinner on Monday night, Memorial Day. The next day, her boyfriend said he couldn’t make it because he had to fix his car for work in the morning, but he asked us to pick up Krystal.

When we got them back to the house, we had dinner and showed Krystal some of the things Joshuah had outgrown. She was smiling from ear to ear. We started to talk more about her situation. Her boyfriend works for a crew that cleans out foreclosed homes, so he has employment, but the motel was costing them $60 minimum per night, which was making it pretty much impossible to save up for a place to rent.

Some people had seen her living there with a baby and threatened to call Child Protective Services --  especially when she didn’t have the $60 for a night at the motel.

I had heard enough. You don’t kick a person when they’re down and trying to get up; you offer them a hand up. The next morning, Jennifer picked up Krystal and Lawrence and they are staying with us until they get on their feet. We have a step by step game plan and we are helping Krystal accomplish each step to help her give her son a better life.

Besides, Joshuah loves his new friend very much.

The moral of the story is not a solicitation of praise, but a challenge to all of you out there. Charity begins at home, so before you chastise somebody for their decisions, ask yourself, what are you doing to be part of the solution?

I know first-hand that most of you will agree, the sense of community in our small city is such that you are not likely to hear this story many other places. That’s just one more thing I love about living in Menifee.

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments for him here or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.

Observations, Questions and Tips About Life: May 30

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.


If you don’t know where you’re going
Chances are when you get there
You won't know where you are.

When love is the answer
There is no question.

It would be ideal to me
To run out of time, money and love
Simultaneously.

If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to menifee247info@gmail.com.

Man About Menifee: Summer Activities Aplenty in Town

By David Baker

I first met the woman who is now my wife in 1998 in Rancho Bernardo, in San Diego County. We were both attending traffic school for our speeding tickets. I guess you can say our relationship was written in the citations.

Shortly after we met, I decided to surprise her at work. I knew she worked as a cashier for Hussar’s Jewelry (now closed) in some place called Sun City for her friend Alan Kleinberg. I called Alan and got the directions.

As I was driving, and driving, and driving, I found myself wondering, who would want to live all the way out here? Fourteen years later, I have the answer … me. Especially since the area has grown so much since then.

We moved to Menifee in early 2010 because my work had transferred me to the Temecula office at the time. Since then, I have changed jobs and make that long commute to San Diego every day, but I don’t mind. I think it is worth it.

One thing I wish I had known our first summer here was all the things there are to do in Menifee during the summer, and when they tend to happen. It always seemed that I found out the day of the event or afterwards. So for readers who may be experiencing their first family summer and want to know what to plan for in Menifee, here are a few events to look out for, some with more details to come.

This coming Monday, Memorial Day May 27, the City of Menifee will host a Memorial Day Ceremony and Picnic at Wheatfield Park. The ceremony will be from 11 a.m. to noon, and the picnic will be from noon to 4 p.m. Click here for more information.

For several years now, the M.A.R.S. program has put on a Father’s Day Campout at La Ladera Park. I have not gotten confirmation on it yet, but as soon as I do, you can bet I’ll tell you more. In addition to this, they also do “Movies at the Park”. There are three throughout the summer and they just announced the dates and times this week (see attached flier). On top of that, there are Free Day Camps for the kids at the local parks (see attached flier).

One other important note is that traditionally, the City of Menifee does its Independence Day celebration the Saturday before the Fourth of July. This is important for two reasons: Planning your time, and pet safety. As any responsible dog owner will tell you, fireworks drive dogs nuts and many dogs have jumped fences to either run away from or toward the sound. Please make sure your dogs are safe and sound, locked up in their dog run, or inside, wherever you consider safe.

If you have anything to add or a suggestion for a future column you can reach me on Facebook, Twitter, or Email.

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments for him here or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.

Menifee Mom: Change is Difficult, but Sometimes Necessary

By Jane Walker

Change.

I’ve written about it before, and I find myself in the midst of so many changes lately, I cannot help but write about it again.

Just when you think you have it all figured out -- your children, your family, your work, your life -- a curveball comes your way and throws you off. You have two choices: Resist or embrace.

My whole life, I have been quite strong-willed; always knowing what my heart and mind “want”. I definitely have pushed some things, just because I’ve got a lot of drive. Sometimes because of my lack of patience, certain things would happen for me, but not without consequence. Then I think to myself, “Was it really worth it?”

What if I had stepped back and practiced patience and more mindfulness? Would I have thought I wanted something as badly? What if I had someone to pound a little reason into my head? Would I have been OK with waiting?

I think the answer to both of those questions is “yes”. So now I find myself really slowing down, taking more of a thinker's approach to everything. I find myself meditating and praying on decisions and choices that are to be made. I’m listening more to the world around me and what this life may have in store for me, if I am just patient enough.

One of the biggest changes going on right now is my departure from the area I’ve called “home” for the last six years. The move will help my little family and I figure some stuff out, and work on where we go from here. Life has dealt us quite a hand, and for a long time, there were only band-aids set in place, while we chugged along, looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. It will be refreshing yet bittersweet, because I’ve made some incredible connections down here and have had amazing opportunities!

I’m embracing this change, and looking at what possibilities can happen if I just let it be. I know it will be an adjustment for all of us, and I can only hope that the time spent away from my husband, and Lucy’s time spent away from her dad, isn’t long before the next visit.

This day and age, I’m seeing more and more families having to do very untraditional things, just to stay together and build their life up. I look at how fortunate we are to have family not so far away, and someone who has the room to house us while we go through this transition. Focusing on the many blessings laid out in front of us, versus how difficult this time might be, really humbles my heart.

I’m also very excited for my daughter to spend some much needed time with her family. They say that it takes a village to raise a child; we sure haven’t had that village, so the support and help is going to be priceless.

Thank you for embracing me as “Menifee Mom” for this short while. I thoroughly enjoy writing, and I hope that where I end up, I can continue. I love sharing my stories, experiences, struggles and triumphs with everyone out there. My biggest hope is that I might inspire, motivate or uplift someone who needs it.

 You can find me on Facebook on my personal page, ‘Love Run Surf Yoga’, where I post about my journey in this life. It's a mish-mash of favorite activities, recipes, outings, inspirational people, quotes etc. Until then, I bid you all adieu.

Observations, Questions and Tips About Life: May 23

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.

I wasted youth in search of truth.

   What did I find? Not any.

Then spent my health in search of wealth

   And never kept a penny.

Now I'm old with no truth or gold

   But nonsense lines aplenty. 

History is written

By those who have the most to gain 
From its distortion.

Blame:  
Ignorance, desperation or game,  
The result is the same.

If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to menifee247info@gmail.com.
 

Menifee Mom: Oh, The Things We Can Learn From Toddlers

By Jane Walker

Oh, toddler-hood. How I love you and loathe you all at the same time.

My daughter turned 2 at the end of February. She was already a spunky, strong-willed, confident young lass, and the age of 2 intensified that to the nth degree. Now she can furrow her brow, point at whomever, and speak a very clear, “No!” or “Drop it!” (Yes, like we tell our dog) or “Are you OK?” after someone coughs.

This age is joyous, frustrating, and downright hilarious at times. My husband and I definitely let our daughter be her own person, with boundaries of course, and the little personality that has developed is beyond me. So often I find myself having to turn around, or walk away and laugh because I can’t believe some of the stuff my daughter says or does.

Her speech is blowing up right now and one of her favorite words is “delicious!” Everything is delicious, from her baby wipes to her boogies. Even a pillow was touted as being “delicious!” earlier this evening while I was making my bed.

She has also become even more agile, doing this sort of side-skip-hop thing, as she gallops around the house. I usually stop in wonder and think, “Where did she learn this?” I definitely don’t skip around the house, or exclaim “delicious!” to describe certain items.

I can only conclude that my daughter is just this amazing being, with such a strong personality, and we’re truly enjoying every moment as she grows and discovers her world. I believe allowing her the freedom and independence to grow, explore and wonder, has aided in her ability to be confident, curious, and compassionate.

My own mom was a woman who let my brother and me explore, get dirty, or hurt, and this has helped shape our own lives. We’re not afraid to take chances, or fail. We’re not afraid to think differently. We love to wrap our brains around new concepts and ideas. We love to figure things out on our own. My mom let my brother and me be our own person.

This is something that my husband and I strive to do with our daughter, within reason. Being overprotective or overbearing really does not serve a positive purpose. Our children will get hurt. They will experience disappointment and failure. Instead of focusing on trying to avoid those things, let’s embrace them, and hope our children learn from these things.

Let’s allow our children to be their own person, and let their personalities flourish from toddler-hood and beyond. I love just sitting back and watching my daughter play, explore and interact with others, without butting in. We sure can learn a lot when we take the back seat!

Jane Walker is a Menifee resident, a wife and mother of a 2-year-old girl. Every Thursday, she shares her experiences as a Menifee mom. Jane welcomes your comments here.

Observations, Questions and Tips About Life: May 15

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.


Love has no sense of nor desire for domination.

When you’re in pain
It’s hard to feel the pain of others.

Only a fool argues with a fool.
Honesty is the least we owe
And the most we can give.

If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to menifee247info@gmail.com.

Observations, Questions and Tips About Life: May 10

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.



All of what I want to do and be
Is bubblin’ inside of me.

God knows everything but keeps a lot of secrets...
That's why the phrase “God only knows” is so popular.

Men reflect on or talk about the lessons of history
Best when their bellies are full.

If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to menifee247info@gmail.com.

Man About Menifee: Memories of Scout Camp, Snipe Hunts

By David Baker

I am not a stranger to camping. I love the bonding that happens over a campfire sing-a-long, a ghost story and s’mores. I wouldn’t exactly consider myself a mountain man or survivalist, though. I am definitely more of an urban camper.

My first memories of camping are as a young child, maybe 5 or 6. I remember watching my dad set up a fairly complicated assembly of poles and putting up our family size canvas tent.

I remember the musty smell of the gear, as if the smell of the campfire and pine needles had permanently bonded to its fabric. The tent smelled like it, the sleeping bags smelled like it, even the pillows that had pictures of koalas on them smelled like it. We always stayed at campgrounds, where it was easy to “car camp”, or drive up, unload, camp, pack up and drive away again.

Those, of course, were memories of family camping. My first ever scout camp was as a Webelos Cub Scout (Cub Scout preparing to bridge into Boy Scouts) in the fourth grade. I got to go to a Camporee with my dad.

A Camporee is a camp hosted by several Boy Scout Troops where they engage in “scout games” like being the fastest troop to build a fire, or “rescue” the first aid “victim”. We had to carry our gear and hike in about a half mile. Looking back, it wasn’t a big deal, but it was the first time I had done it.

I learned a lot that weekend and had a lot of fun. I learned how to make a stretcher out of two poles and a blanket. I learned that Pita bread packs a lot easier than Wonder Bread, but still makes a pretty tasty PB&J. My most vivid memory, though, was an officially unofficial part of most scout camps, and that was the snipe hunt.

The older boys took a bunch of us new Webelos into the woods, not too far, where we could still see the glow of the camp fire, gave us a trash bag and told us to hold the flashlight so the snipe would be attracted to the glow. Our job was just to hold the bag very still and close it when the snipe ran in.

Then the older boys went in the opposite direction to flush out the snipe. There we were, three fourth grade Webelos waiting for the snipe to come running out. Any minute now, here we go. Waiting. The sound of the other boys had long faded away when we decided to go back to camp. When I saw the looks on everyone’s faces, I knew we had been fooled. It was all in good fun and we laughed about it.

About this time every year, I remember that story. You see, we at the Baker household are preparing for our spring family campout with Cub Scout Pack 374. This year we are going to the Cherry Valley Bow Hunters Club in Beaumont. We will be learning archery and BB Gun shooting skills. Undoubtedly, there will be campfires and s’mores, songs and stories. Who knows? Maybe there will even be a snipe hunt.

For more information, visit www.pack374.org or http://www.cherryvalleybowhunters.com/.

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments here for him or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.

Menifee Mom: Persistence Pays Off in Half Marathon

By Jane Walker

This last weekend, May 5 to be exact, I ran my first half-marathon -- the OC Half.

I am a runner; that is for certain. However, before this run, I would typically log an average of about 3-7 miles during a run. Being naturally more of a sprinter, the longer distances were intimidating.

In my training, I ran 10+ miles once, and the last "long run" was around 8 miles. I also “carb loaded” the night before, which I never do regularly. Note to self: eat your typical clean, low sodium foods, and maybe a large baked sweet potato.

Sleep was interesting, as I accidentally brought the air mattress that had a slow leak in it. I hoped this wasn’t an omen.

I started to get pumped when we were finally able to line up in our corral. The minutes started ticking faster and at 6:15 a.m. we were sneakers up, hitting the pavement. I immediately felt heavy and like my body was not working. Not a good sign. I kept pushing forward, though, chalking it up to nerves and anxiety for being in my first marathon race ever. There were a lot of people!

That first mile felt like it took forever. By mile 3, my feet were already on fire, my hands had swelled up and I had to use the bathroom! By mile 4, my feet were on fire and felt like they weighed 20 pounds each. I made the decision to stop again, take off my socks, slather my feet in chafe resistant lube and see if that helped. No socks bring on the blisters.

I did relax a little after removing my socks. I felt lighter. I found a woman who was keeping my same pace, and I used her as an anchor to keep going. I wasn't passing her, and she wasn't getting away from me. Just keep running. I made sure to stop at all the water stations to drink and douse myself in the cold stuff.

By mile 7 I was so hot, but I had a nice rhythm going. Just keep running. Shortly after passing the mile 7 marker, my music was not blaring anymore. I decided to stop and try to figure out what was wrong, and gave up after fidgeting for a couple of minutes. Now I had to endure 6+ miles with no tunes. Yikes.

After trying to get back into the groove, I started to focus on the pain because I didn't have much else to distract me. That definitely slowed me down, and my brain started to try to talk me out of the run, saying things like 'I’m not made for this, I should just give up and forget about distance running,' etc.  Well I shut that voice up, and tried to find another runner going my same pace that I could "anchor" on to.

I found that person, and then I passed them. I found another and then I passed her. I kept on pushing myself this way, and it seemed to keep me going and keep my mind off anything but finishing this race.

By the time I hit mile 11, I was on full auto-pilot. I just kept moving my feet, and telling myself, no matter how slow you might be going, just finish this race. I even heard someone say out loud, "The pain is temporary, but regret lasts forever." That definitely stuck with me.

At mile 12, I saw some hilarious signs that kept pushing me along (WTF? Where's the Finish; Tight Butts Drive Me Nuts; It's Long, It's Hard, Do It Faster!). I stopped to walk for a minute to grasp my bearings again, but then started up because I knew my body wasn't dead (yet).

Before I knew it, I was in the 2:10 pace group (much better than I thought I was doing), and I heard someone shout out that we were only 1.5 miles away. Let me tell you, that mile and a half was the longest that I've ever experienced.

The finish line would not come fast enough. I kept trucking along, turn after turn; I could finally see the straightaway. I picked up the pace at this point, hoping to get as close to 2 hours as possible. Sure enough, when I crossed the line, it was 2:13 on the screen. Not bad for my first time! (And come to figure out I actually ran closer to 13.5 miles, so that gave me a better pace too!)

A huge wave of relief fell over me, and it was actually hard to stop my body from moving forward. Once I got my medal, the fatigue really kicked in, and my feet hurt so fiercely from having the wrong shoes.

With a couple of tweaks like MORE TRAINING RUNS, better sneakers, sticking to my usual clean vegan-type foods, and getting more rest, I know I'll be able to PR and show the next race what I'm made of!

That's the cool thing about running in races; you always have the chance to improve and learn something. You learn what works and what doesn't work. I've received SO much priceless advice from the women in my group, and I cannot thank them enough for helping me achieve this amazing feat.

Jane Walker is a Menifee resident, a wife and mother of a 2-year-old girl. Every Thursday, she shares her experiences as a Menifee mom. Jane welcomes your comments here.
 

Man About Menifee: Archery Program is Fun For All

By David Baker

Like most kids, I went to camp in the summer. Sometimes I was camping with my family, sometimes it was scout or sleep-away camp.

I remember a lot of things about camping, from making s’mores to pitching tents, fishing, swimming, bicycling and dozens of other activities.

One thing that was a constant at sleep-away camp was archery lessons. While I would never consider myself a Robin Hood, it was definitely a sport that I could do well that depended less on being the tallest or the strongest, and more on patience and calculation.


Recently, my children got invited by a friend to participate in an archery league in Homeland. They have been participating for about a month now and they really look forward to it every week. I got the opportunity to go with them this last Sunday and they really seem to be learning a lot and improving.

I sat down with the archery director and spoke to her at length about the program. While this activity has only been on their schedule a few years, participation is improving. They have certified range safety instructors and everyone who participates has to pass a small safety test to show they know the rules of the range. They are considering expanding their offering to include a snack and drink cart for convenience and fundraising purposes.

The league is run through Community First Church of God, located at 31371 California Highway 74, Homeland, CA 92548 and is part of their Community Outreach Program, so the cost is absolutely nothing.

The Archery Program was created and piloted by a churchgoer named Paul Mains Jr. in 2011. He recently passed away and the committee chose to name the archery range The Paul Mains Jr. Archery Range in his honor. They start each competition with a short prayer and have an optional service afterward with videos and songs.

They supply the equipment, though you can bring your own if you prefer. It is open to all ages, 5 and up (including adults). The instructors are patient with the newcomers and they are always taking new competitors. Sign -p is year round and participants can even earn prizes along the way, such as gift cards and trophies. Practices are on Thursdays from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. and competition for points is on Sundays from 12:30 to 3:30 p.m.
For more details, click here or contact the archery director, Lynette Brown, at 951-392-4757.

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments here for him or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.

Menifee Mom: You Can Plan, But Be Flexible, Too

By Jane Walker

Who out there is a planner? How many of you spend a lot of time organizing, preparing, executing, to make sure the best outcome possible? You set goals for yourself and your life revolves around these goals at whatever cost, to make sure the result is what you’ve imagined.

We tell ourselves this is most necessary because life would be utterly chaotic if we didn’t plan out every detail. We can schedule things and set up a routine to follow, but we must prepare for changes in those schedules --sometimes drastic changes.

I was a planner. I’d plan and research and talk about my goals and how I was going to get to them. So many of my family members always emphasized the need to have goals. If you didn’t have goals, you didn’t strive for anything in life. You were lazy. You had no drive.

I was this goal-driven banshee, until a year after my daughter was born.

My husband and I had been married six months when I found out I was pregnant. It was a surprise, especially because life was a bit of a whirlwind at the moment. But after the first trimester, when my hormones started to settle, I was overjoyed to finally have a bun in the oven.

I had hired a doula at about week 8 because I knew that I didn’t want a traditional hospital birth. I knew that I wanted my labor and delivery to be as natural as possible. I started reading about midwives, and water births, and how to get through the most intense labor pain without medicine. We found an OB in San Diego who was highly renowned in her field. I felt safe and confident everything would be OK.

Around week 26, after asking my OB several questions to try to keep my labor/delivery as natural as possible, I decided she was way too medically inclined, and I started to feel more like a cow being shuffled through the dairy farm. It was then that we decided to go to a Birth Center instead.

The birth center was everything I had imagined; hippie, natural, small, clean, with amazing midwives. No unnecessary medical devices etc. And the hospital was minutes away, should anything happen during the birthing process.

We had a handful of appointments and everything was fine. Our daughter was in the “right” position, head down, bottom up. She was also growing by the minute.

The midwife on duty at one of my last appointments before D-day felt my tummy like every appointment before. She was checking for head/bottom position. Then she told us she’d like to do an ultrasound just to “make sure” our daughter was in the right position.

What!? We’ve been getting these checks for the last month, and everything has always “felt” right according to midwives who have 20 years in this field! My heart sank. I knew that it was our daughter’s round little head at the top of my ribcage, and not her round little butt.

The ultrasound confirmed that our daughter’s precious face was staring right back at the camera, up by my chest. Nice.

We scrambled to find an OB who has more of a “natural birth” background, and I gave myself a week to try to turn this baby into the right position. It didn’t work. Two days before my due date, my OB said those dreaded words: “Let’s schedule a C-section”.

I didn’t even have time to think about it, because he wanted this baby out by noon the next day. My “plans” took a sharp 180-degree turn.

It took me about a year to finally accept that I would have a permanent reminder (my C-section scar) of my daughter’s birth. It took a year for me to finally realize we really have very little control over anything in life. We can hope, we can try to plan as best as we can, but what is supposed to happen, will happen, whether it’s what we want at the time or not.

I have found it’s best to just go with the flow, and don’t try and fight life. You become much calmer, joyful and have more of an ability to live in the moment.

Jane Walker is a Menifee resident, a wife and mother of a 2-year-old girl. Every Thursday, she shares her experiences as a Menifee mom. Jane welcomes your comments here.