Man About Menifee: Cherish Family Time While You Can

By David Baker

Like a lot of men, I spend a great deal of my time, energy, and effort on my family. They are my world and I am happy to do it. It just scares me how quickly the time passes.

When each of my kids was born, I was ecstatic. Each one had their own little quirks that made their personality special. I guess they were like little people that way.

Nikkolas, who is now 18, was always pretty calm and serious; some would call him an old soul. Alexandra is 12 and a creative spirit, a Daddy's girl, a bit of a Tom-Boy, and she has always marched to the beat of her own drummer.

All I can say about my 9-year-old, Jeremiah, is that he is mini-me. He's always quick with a joke or a pun, and was black belt in both sarcasm and irony by the age of 4. One-year-old Joshuah is a very happy baby who has loved the song "Paradise City" by Guns 'n' Roses since he was a newborn, although lately he's been a bit of a crabby pants. He's probably teething.

I've written several articles about my adventures in Menifee with the boys, but I haven't really written much about Aexandra. When she was younger, we would do all sorts of thing together, ranging from watching TV or reading a book to going to father-daughter dances and selling Girl Scout cookies. As she has gotten older, and especially now that she is in middle school, I have had to force myself to look for ways for us to bond.

Recently, we had the opportunity to got to a father-daughter day with her Girl Scout Troop at Mulligan Family Fun Center in Murrieta. It was definitely a good experience. We got to shoot each other with lasers, chase each other with go carts, and actually talk. Who knew my daughter is actually an interesting person with real opinions? She's still a daddy's girl, even if she doesn't fit on my lap anymore.

The moral of the story is not for all you dads to run out and take your kids to a laser tag (although that was pretty cool). The moral of the story is to take the opportunity to get to know your kids. A camping trip or a trip to the beach works as well as any arcade. Just make the most of your time together.

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments here for him or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.

Menifee Mom: Springtime Means Cleaning Time

By Michelle Walsh

I absolutely love spring! The warm afternoons, chirping birds, longer daylight, and putting away winter clothes!

There is something about the change from winter to spring that makes me want to tear apart my house and purge Spring Cleaning!
Every year this time I get this wild bug and feel like I must get rid of STUFF!

It’s amazing how much one family can accumulate over time. I usually start with clothes as I pull out the Rubbermaid boxes full of shorts, dresses and short sleeved shirts. With three daughters, it’s nice to know that I can get a lot of use out of their clothes as they get handed down year after year. At this age, they are still excited to get to wear their older sister’s clothes; I know that one day that will change.

After we sort through last year’s clothes, I like to go through shoes, and then I can get into stuffed animals, toys, books and more. Don’t stop me now! By this point, the kids are usually on to me. They get nervous any time they see something in a pile that may seem out of the ordinary.

“Mom, why is my skirt over there?”

It’s funny how some things forgotten and overlooked can suddenly become a prized possession once it’s headed out the door. I recently listed my oldest daughter’s bike for sale. She never rides it, and in fact refuses to each time I suggest it. She insists she does not like it. She’s got a scooter and seems to favor that.

Once I got a buyer for her bike, I warned her that someone was coming to look at and possibly purchase her bike. She was immediately brought to tears, and promised that she would ride her bike every day if I just did not sell it. Luckily, the buyer found it amusing once I told her the story and cancelled the sale.

I’ve gone through about half the house and I think I’ve got a bigger mess than what I started with, even with things going out the door. It’s strange how that can happen.

Now I’ve got piles of stuff that needs to find a new home. Some of my favorite ways to get rid of stuff are as follows:

Freecylce: It’s an email group sorted by city. I find my local one, sign up and give stuff away – all free!

Friends: I have lots of friends with kiddos around the same age as mine. If I’ve got good stuff I know they’ll enjoy, I love to pass things along. I have a good friend who through her church donates things to an orphanage; I give lots to her. And my newest favorite way to get rid of things is by selling on Facebook Garage Sale sites.

Menifee Exchange is one of my go-to places. It’s even better than Craigslist. Menifee Exchange (you can search for it on Facebook) is a group where you can post a photo of what you are selling, a short description including condition and price, and within minutes you will have several people who want to purchase your items. It’s wonderful, and easy.

In a few weeks, I’ll have purged quite a bit. It feels good; it feels like spring. It feels like a time for new beginnings.

Michelle Walsh is a Menifee resident, a wife and mother of three young girls. She is a former teacher who enjoys running, exercise, sewing, gardening and socializing. Each week, she shares her experiences as a Menifee mom. Michelle welcomes your comments here.

Observations, Questions and Tips About Life: March 27

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.


I don’t understand about love at all
But I do understand why we say we fall.

Accepting mistakes
Enhances beauty.

How thick or thin you peel potatoes is directly related to your economic status during your formative years.

If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to doug.spoon@gmail.com.

Man About Menifee: A Do It Yourself Man's Dream Store

By David Baker

As most of you know, when I'm not busy being a dad and an intrepid reporter, I sell kitchens and bathrooms for one of the fastest growing kitchen and bath showrooms in the nation. I'm not the only one who thinks it is impressive; Forbes magazine agrees, too.

I've been working in the Kitchen and Bath Industry for about eight years now, so I am more than willing to take advantage of any chance to learn more about things in the home improvement sector.

Thursday morning, the Menifee Chamber of Commerce had a ribbon cutting ceremony at Sherwin Williams on the corner of Newport Road and Bradley Road. While it is true that any new business is exciting for our community from a financial perspective, I was also impressed with several products they featured, including commercial and residential grade paint sprayers, and even cordless sprayers for smaller jobs.

The wall texture material is sold in premixed bags, ready to be sprayed and was designed to be adjustable to match existing textures. They had high performance wood finishing products and other good products for the professional crowd.

There were three products that truly stood out to me from a consumer DIY perspective. The first one was basically a painter's tape and plastic sheeting combined, allowing the consumer to tape off an area and lay a layer of plastic down at the same time and not worry if you missed a gap between the tape and the sheet. The second was a gray epoxy that dries harder than concrete, great for small patch jobs or reattaching tiles, and it uses a chemical bonding process so it dries under water as well. The third was spackling and primer all in one that spackles, dries hard in 30 minutes and is ready to paint, no primer. That was pretty impressive to me.

"We've been open since December and the store has definitely been picking up," said Tom Brummett, city manager for the Los Angeles District of Sherwin Williams. "We did the retail grand opening a few weeks ago; this is the trade event. You should talk to Natalie (Zwerner). She's the store manager and she really put this store together."

Brummett pointed out a blur zipping by that vaguely resembled a woman in a blue Sherwin Williams shirt. I could tell I would have to wait my turn. Toward the end of the event, when she had a moment, Zwerner walked me toward the employee break area. I learned that she started with Sherwin Williams three years ago as a management trainee in Dana Point, and that she lived in Yucaipa. When the opportunity opened for her

I asked her to describe her impressions of our community.

"There's definitely a lot more DIY traffic that comes through the store," she said. "During the Retail/DIY Grand Opening, we had over 105 transactions that day, and there were probably more people that were just looking. Although I can name about 20 professional painters that live within two miles of the store as well. One thing's for sure; the people are friendlier."

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments here for him or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.

Menifee Mom: How to Blow Out the Candles This Year?

By Michelle Walsh

Let’s talk about birthday parties.

I’m lucky to have two daughters with October birthdays. Kallan and Allie’s birthdays are three weeks apart. Every year since Allie’s birth, we’ve had “share parties,” as my daughters have named them.

That’s one party for both girls! Twice the fun, if you ask me. They are starting to think otherwise and asking if they have to have “share parties” this year. YIKES!

Chloe’s third birthday is coming up next month and it’s time to start party planning again. I have a small perfectionist problem, mix that with my uncontrollable desire to create things (did I mention I have a crafting problem too?), and I can really drive myself insane with party planning.

I’ve done a few parties at home and I learned real quick that "at home" parties were not for me. Cleaning, cooking, decorating, entertaining and then CLEANING AGAIN ... no thanks! I’m not against them; I just don’t think I’m the happy hostess when required to do that kind of birthday party.

We’ve done a few parties outside the home and they are fun. We’re in, we’re out, no mess, no fuss. The kids all have a blast and that is what is important.

In just the past few weeks, we’ve been invited to and have attended parties at Pump it Up, a Reptile Party -- complete with all kinds of amazing animals -- a Rapunzel party (awesome, with the Princess there herself), and we have an upcoming party at Cartwheels (a gymnastics studio) and another birthday party with a cute “Dapper” (fancy attire) theme. All these parties have been wonderful, as I’m sure the upcoming ones will be too.

Whether at home or at an outside entertainment venue, it’s a lot of planning, and it can be costly. I’m thinking this year I’d like to try to keep it simple.

I’m thinking something along these lines: The theme: birthday party. Yes, just that! A simple "made at home" cake with uneven frosting and the birthday girls’ name scribbled in a gel that is off centered and almost running off the cake -- but made with love. This served with a scoop of ice cream and a little fruit punch in a Dixie cup. Add a paper cone party hat with an elastic strap that would almost certainly break and snap you on your chin.

A small gathering of friends crowded around the table singing “Happy Birthday” while you make your wish and blow out the skinny stick candles that match your number in years. Throw in a couple of party blowers, a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey, open some gifts and the party’s over. Just the thought of this kind of party makes me happy.

Yes, this year we will do simple. I hope to make it a tradition that will stay with us for many years to come.

Michelle Walsh is a Menifee resident, a wife and mother of three young girls. She is a former teacher who enjoys running, exercise, sewing, gardening and socializing. Each week, she shares her experiences as a Menifee mom. Michelle welcomes your comments here.

Observations, Question and Tips About Life: March 20

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.


Sometimes I talk to myself
As though I’m really here.

The only thing that warms the heart
More than the touch of another's hand
Is the touch of God’s hand.

Existence is competition;
Life is cooperation.



If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to doug.spoon@gmail.com.

Man About Menifee: Time for Those Downhill Racers

By David Baker

If you stop 100 men on the street and ask them about their fondest or most memorable event from their childhood, you are bound to get a litany of answers.

Some played sports, while others played music. Some were popular and went to all the parties, while some of us... well ... some of us had an intricate knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System and spent a lot of time at the Card Catalog. (For the under 25 crowd, that was what we used before we had Google - for more info follow this link to watch a whimsical yet informative video).

Yet, there are some nearly universal experiences as well: Our first paycheck, the first time we drove a car or shaved with a real razor. One experience I was surprised to find was fairly common was the Pinewood Derby. It is such a universal experience that in 2005, they even made a Hollywood movie about it.

When Cub Scout Pack 374 began in the fall of 2010, one of the first things we did was a fundraiser in the community to raise money so we could go on trips, buy the awards we were going to earn, and have a Pinewood Derby. As we were selling fundraiser items outside of Albertson's, people would stop and talk to us. The moment we would mention the Derby, all men ages 25 to 95 would stop and stare off in the distance, get a goofy smile on their faces, and say, "The Pinewood Derby. I remember that."

A few seconds later, they would come back to the present, look at the boys and reach for their wallets. Many of them even said, "I don't want to buy anything, but here's a few bucks, kid. Have fun with the Derby." It was really touching.

Our first Pinewood Derby was in the Spring of 2011. We borrowed a three-lane track from a Pack in Hemet and held it at La Ladera Park. The boys had a blast, although I did over-do things with the racing schedule. I found a neat online tool and set it for maximum randomization, which meant each boy raced each of the other boys at least three times. That was a bit much for the parents.

The one we had the next year was a little better, but with more boys and the same small track we borrowed, it was still a little longer than most parents anticipated.

This year, a Scout Leader our Cubmaster Chris works with donated two only slightly used tracks -- one with three lanes and one with four -- that we are using. To top it off, our race is being sponsored by Gosch Auto Group and held at the Gosch Toyota Showroom in Hemet. It is turning into quite the event and I know the boys will have a blast.

So if you happen to be in the area next Saturday, March 23, between 3-6 p.m., come re-live some of those memories at 450 Carriage Circle in Hemet. There will be food, fun, and above all, fond memories for the next generation of men from Menifee.

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments here for him or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.

Menifee Mom: Life's Simple Pleasures Can Be the Best

By Michelle Walsh

It took some time for me to get used to Menifee. I am a city girl, always have been.

When we first moved out here seven years ago, I felt a little out of place. I was used to having all my conveniences within an arm’s reach. Menifee has changed a lot in the past seven years; it’s grown a lot. I can only imagine what it would be like had the economy not changed as it did.

I’ve grown to like the slower speed here and the rural areas. We live in a master planned community, but only down the street are horses, llamas, goats, and a dairy farm! My girls get a big kick out of seeing the cows every morning as I drive them to school.

I enjoy being so close to farm fresh eggs, fruit and vegetable stands. We drive by crops daily. I love watching the rolling fields change colors with the seasons from brown to green.

One of the attractions of this area is that it is so close to a lot of really fun places. I’d really like to take the girls up to the snow; we’ve yet to venture out to the mountains. This past weekend, we took a family day trip out of Menifee.

On Saturday, the family went to Temecula Valley Strawberry Patch. My girls love strawberries and the farm had just opened up this past weekend. It is located in Fallbrook and was about a 40-minute drive. It was kind of a dreary day, so we had the place pretty much to ourselves.

The staff was very friendly and explained to us the process of picking. Each girl got her own basket, a pair of scissors, and we were off. The girls had fun searching for the “perfect” strawberries; they had to be red in color from the top to the bottom. They would yell out with excitement each time they had discovered one that met this description. The strawberry plants are in tiered pots, so often the girls would need a boost to get to the desired berry.

We finished up our little outing with three cups of fresh strawberry lemonade.

It’s a fun day trip, not too far from home. Kids really enjoy being able to pick out their own fruit and I like to support a family owned and operated business.

Michelle Walsh is a Menifee resident, a wife and mother of three young girls. She is a former teacher who enjoys running, exercise, sewing, gardening and socializing. Each week, she shares her experiences as a Menifee mom. Michelle welcomes your comments here.

Observations, Questions and Tips About Life: March 13

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.


Yard sales and snowstorms bring neighbors together.

Music is man’s attempt to speak the language of God.

God made things perfect as can be
My flaws are part of the perfection you see.

If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to doug.spoon@gmail.com.

A Doug's Life: Is it Really, or is it a Dog's Life This Time?

Stephen Morris and his dog Mason enjoy the open space and amenities of the dog park on Murrieta Road.

For the record, I love dogs.

I have two of them. One big, one small. The golden retriever, named Binny, is true to his breed: Extremely loyal, not incredibly smart, somewhat paranoid. The runt, named Wyatt, is part rat terrier, part dachsund, mostly maniac. It's an interesting contrast, and it keeps me busy.

One thing I'm not great about is getting them out and about for some exercise. Walking around the block is sometimes an exhausting adventure. Even though Menifee seems like a dog friendly community, I am not always welcomed when being dragged down the street by the beasts.

Thus I was intrigued when I learned that we have a couple dog parks in town. Maybe the boys just need a new environment in which to play, I figured. It's worth checking out.

Deciding to leave the dogs behind for the first scouting trip, I checked out the dog park in Pete Petersen Park on Murrieta Road. A large grassy area is surrounded by an oval walking track suitable for man and his best friend. Signs warn dog walkers to keep their pets on a leash while using this area.

At the north end of the park, two enclosed areas allow dog owners to let their pets off the leash and enjoy their own playground. There are dog-themed structures to jump over and play around, drinking water and a place for the owner to sit in the shade. Most of all, it's a public place where dogs can be dogs -- without dog or owner feeling like trespassers.

Stephen Morris brings his Australian Shepherd, Mason, to the park every day. He says it's a good workout for Mason as well as himself. In his previous home, Mason was kept in a crate 10-12 hours a day and was in danger of being euthanized after suffering heart problems. Today, he is happy to stretch his legs at the dog park under the watchful eye of Morris, who has trained dogs for years.

"This is probably the best one around," Morris said about the dog park. "There are couple of groups of regulars who come here every day. I'm usually in the 7 a.m. group.

"This is great for a dog like Mason. With the kind of heart attack he had, he shouldn't even be walking around. He's a herding dog, and he had a lot of stress from being kept in a crate all day. Now he's nonstop, hours of pacing and running. He'll get going 80 miles an hour. He knocked me in the gutter once, trying to get out of the car to play."

Morris is cautious about Mason's interactions with other dogs -- especially when people let their dog off the leash outside the fenced-in area. For the most part, however, he is pleased with the opportunity to let his pet get some exercise in a relatively safe environment.

I haven't ventured there with Binny and Wyatt yet, but it might be time. I don't know how much longer the back yard will hold them.

Separate fenced areas are provided for large dogs and small dogs at Pete Petersen Park.

Man About Menifee: One Young Man's Persistence Pays Off

 By David Baker

It should come as no surprise to my adoring fans -- all three of them -- that I am a big fan of low- or no-cost ways to entertain my kids.

When Nikkolas, my 18-year-old, was younger, the town we lived in had a yearly bike rodeo. Every year at the local Kmart parking lot, the local sheriff’s deputies, along with AAA, CalFire, the local bike store or other civic-minded organizations, would gather to promote things like bicycle safety and emergency preparedness.

One year, CalFire set up a trailer that was a mockup of a house filled with “smoke” (I think they used water vapor, but the effect was cool. The kids had to crawl under the smoke like they would in a real emergency. The local bike store would engrave parents’ driver’s license numbers on the kid’s bikes, in case they ever got stolen, and the deputies would teach the rules of the road. It was a blast, the kids had fun and it was my favorite price - free.

When Nikk was looking for a community service project for his senior year at Santa Rosa Academy (a prerequisite for graduation), he drew on those memories from his childhood and decided to bring something like that to Menifee. With most of his classmates doing little things like food drives, blood drives, and fundraisers, his teachers all thought he had bit off more than he could chew. A few even encouraged him to have a plan “B” when it didn’t happen.

I even doubted him myself at times, but it’s a good thing he’s a stubborn teenager who doesn’t always listen too well.

It wasn’t easy. He had red tape with the city, the school district, and various property owners who all kept turning him away. He spent months calling, emailing, and going from one office to another to try to make sure everything was legit and authorized.

Just when it seemed like everything was not going to happen, he caught a break, thanks to Menifee’s own Tom Fuhrman and the Menifee Youth Foundation -- both proud supporters of local Boy Scout Troop 444. Fuhrman helped find a location and the Foundation is providing Boy Scouts to help staff the event.

So next week, on Saturday, March 16 at the Menifee Rural Center (31850 Haun Road) from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., you can attend Menifee’s first ever (possibly first annual) Bike Rodeo. There will be snacks, an obstacle course, and a raffle with door prizes, with all proceeds benefitting the Menifee Youth Foundation.

A special thanks to Tom Fuhrman, The Menifee Youth Foundation, BSA Troop 444, Menifee Bicycles, The Riverside County Sheriff’s Department, County of Riverside, Menifee Fire Station #68, and all the others who helped make it happen.

If you want more information or want to find a way to help, you can send Nikk an email at nikkhughes2012@gmail.com (subject line bike rodeo).

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments here for him or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.

Menifee Mom: A Trip to the Salon With the Girls

By Michelle Walsh

It starts early -- getting excited about a trip to the salon. I mentioned a haircut to my girls on Sunday after church and they were practically jumping out of their car seats with excitement.

I get just as excited about a day at the salon, but I think our reasons for excitement are probably slightly different.

Sunday’s haircut never happened because Chloe fell asleep on the way home. Then we got busy with lunch, playing, and in a blink of an eye it was homework, dinner and bath time.

It didn’t happen Monday either, and believe me, I was reminded more than once. Once again, I had to promise, “Tomorrow”. So Tuesday, after school, I grabbed my coupons and we all hopped in the car and took a trip down to Great Clips off Newport and Murrieta Road.

A few months earlier, we had taken a trip to Great Clips and had a great experience. They mailed me three coupons, so I thought we’d try it again. We arrived at 4:30 p.m. and I snapped a before picture of my three beauties in front of the salon. We then headed inside to check in.

Moments after checking in, we had to check out the bathroom. Wherever we go, it never fails; someone needs to use the restroom, urgently. My personal favorite is after I’ve unloaded what seems like a month full of groceries at Sam’s Club onto the conveyor belt, someone always sings: “I need to go potty really baaaaad,” accompanied by the “potty dance”

You can imagine the warm smiles I get from the long line of people behind me as I smile and apologize.

After we took care of business, we returned to the waiting area to three smiling hair stylists who were ready for all three girls. Fabulous! All three at once! The girls got up on their booster seats and it was time for action.

All three stylists were very good with the girls. For some reason, when I try to cut their hair at home, no one can keep their heads still. In the salon chair, the only thing that moves are their eyeballs. It is serious business, worth every penny paid.

Two of the girls got special braids done after their cuts and were very impressed with the large hand mirror which revealed to them the masterpiece that was created on the backs of their heads. You can be sure that I was asked today why we don’t have a mirror like that, followed by, “but I want to see the back of my hair!” I foresee a trip to Sally’s in our near future.

After their cuts, they each got a small lollipop, which thrilled them. We went outside and took an “after” photo; they insisted I take one of the front and the back.

Twice, we had a great experience, and that’s no fluke! We’ll be back again for sure. Thanks Great Clips, you made my three girls and this Menifee Mom VERY happy!

Michelle Walsh is a Menifee resident, a wife and mother of three young girls. She is a former teacher who enjoys running, exercise, sewing, gardening and socializing. Each week, she shares her experiences as a Menifee mom. Michelle welcomes your comments here.

Observations, Questions and Tips About Life: March 6

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.

Love has no measurable quantity.
It is all or nothing at all.

If you’re always right, you don’t make mistakes, you know.
Therefore, neither do you grow!

There’s nothing wrong with picking the wrong horse...
If you just enjoy the ride.


If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to doug.spoon@gmail.com.

The Caregivers' Journey: A Long and Winding Path

By Marsha Kay Seff

"The Caregivers' Journey" appears here monthly. Marsha Kay Seff wrote and edited the San Diego Eldercare Directory for 10 years. She knows first-hand about the ups and downs of caregiving, as she brought her aging parents to San Diego from Miami Beach in order to look after them. Her column will discuss the challenges faced by adults in caring for their aging parents. Direct email inquiries or responses to mkseff@gmail.com.

Becoming your parents’ parent conjures up pictures of “tangled apron strings.”

As a child, the strings seemed well-defined. You needed your parents and their role was to fulfill your needs. Now, with your parents aging and leaning increasingly on you, the apron strings are tangled, wound tightly around you.

This role reversal isn’t easy for any of you. Your parents, no doubt, are fighting furiously to cling to their dignity and independence. And you’re pulled between the demands of your life and theirs.

Your parents will always think of you as their child. And taking directions from their child is bound to rub them the wrong way, at least some of the time. Neither is it easy to become the conductor of your parents’ later life.

Sometimes, you overstep your boundaries; often, they fight back. But if you act lovingly, you can’t go too far wrong.

You’ll probably end up taking over your parents’ shopping, finances and medical decisions gradually. The biggest mistake you can make is waiting until a crisis to make changes.

The trick is to help steer your parents in the right direction without steamrolling them, suggesting – not demanding.

I used to give my mom choices, so she could help make the decisions.

“Mom, shall we install a shower seat or would a walk-in tub be better?”

It’s not uncommon for aging parents to be less concerned about their safety than you are. The experts say we need to respect our parents’ wishes as much as possible, as long as they’re not endangering anyone else.

But I knew if they got hurt or sick, I was the one who was going to have to nurse them, so I was too strict sometimes.

I try not to beat myself up about my mistakes. because I know I did the best I could. Even so, if I had it to do over, I would have done some things differently. I regret that I refused to give my dad his wallet and some cash when he was in a skilled-nursing facility, because he didn’t need money and I was afraid if would be stolen. It probably would have. But so what?
It was a small expense in order to allow Dad to claim a little independence.

You’ll make mistakes, too. The knots in the apron strings will become tighter. But all you can do is what seems best at the time.


Sponsored by Right at Home, In-Home Care & Assistance, www.rahtemecula.com, (951) 506-9628, loretteoliver@rahtemecula.com. Contact Marsha Kay Seff at mkseff@gmail.com.

Man About Menifee: There's Nothing Like a Good Hike

By David Baker

Most parents will tell you that Art Linkletter had it right. Kids really do say the darndest things.

For his fourth birthday, I told Jeremiah that we could do anything he wanted. I figured what was the worst that he could ask for, Chuck-E-Cheese’s? You name it kid, you got it. He came back with a very surprising answer: “I want to climb a mountain.”

To be fair, I really shouldn’t have been too surprised. My kids have been doing things outdoors with the scouts literally since they were born. Alexandra’s first public outing was the Cub Scout Blue and Gold banquet when she was only three days old. Jeremiah was out camping when he was just a few weeks old.

So I kept my promise to him and on my next day off, we got up super early, packed trail mix, water, and granola bars and took off for a popular hiking trail/service road where we lived at the time and walked the 1.5 miles to the top. I figured I would be carrying a very tired little boy back down, but he held his own. He bounced and skipped his way up and plodded his way down like a champ.

That was the beginning of a tradition for us. Wherever we went, whether we moved or were just visiting, we looked for new, interesting hiking trails.

When we started Pack 374 here in Menifee, one of the first things I did was start asking around for local hiking trails. One parent said we should try Santa Rosa Plateau. It has many different hiking, bicycling, and horse riding trails. Some are even dog friendly. It’s not a bad drive either -- right off the I15 and Clinton Keith Road, about 5 minutes west. The visitor’s center is on the left.

They have a nice little museum there where kids can see examples of local wildlife, and how people lived in the area about 100 years ago. Of course my kids’ favorite part of the exhibit was the scat (a.k.a. animal poop) collection. There’s even a “Scat Game” handout so kids can look for and identify scat while on the trail.

For the older, more seasoned hiker, there is even a 5-mile round trip hike in to the Adobe Houses -- restored historical houses from more than a century ago.

A trip to the Plateau is very low cost and a fun way to enjoy a weekend outdoors with your family. Admission to the parks is $3 for adults and $2 for kids 2-12 years old. For more information, including directions, check out the Riverside County Parks page here.

David Baker, our Man About Menifee, writes about his adventures in and around town every Friday in this space. You may leave comments here for him or email him at manaboutmenifee@gmail.com.