Observations, Questions and Tips About Life

Featuring Bill Rhoads

Each week, Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares with us some of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life. He believes in God and the Golden Rule.


God only screams at us when we are in eminent danger. Most of the time he whispers. Be still and listen.

Any rock you throw interrupts the flow.

Love doesn’t make us perfect
Although love itself is perfect
Make sure the one you choose is right
Life’s too short to fuss and fight.


If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to doug.spoon@gmail.com.

A Doug's Life: I'd Work Up a Sweat, But It's Too Cold

OK, so I'm tired, I'm sore and I'm cold. What's your problem?

Sorry if I'm a bit cranky today. Actually, things aren't that bad. I lost four pounds in the first week of my diet and exercise program. That part, I like. Dragging my sore muscles out into the 30-degree Menifee morning chill for a 6 a.m. workout? Not so much.

I'm one of those guys who would rather sweat in a sauna then jog down the street when it's freezing outside. That;s why I headed right for the gym, cranking up the heater. On the way, I passed a guy riding his bike down Menifee Road, wearing shorts. I glanced down at the temperature on my dashboard. It was 32 degrees outside.

C'mon, man. Trying to make me look bad or what?

This morning at breakfast, I was enjoying my bowl of Steel Cut Oatmeal, protein powder and almond milk. My granddaughter Riley, who's almost 5, asked me why my oatmeal looks different than the kind she eats.

"This is Pop oatmeal," I said. "It's going to make me skinny."

I finished the bowl and took it over to rinse out in the sink.

"Hey Pop," Riley said. "Are you skinny now?"

This is how bad it is: Paul David, the owner of Elevate Fitness in Menifee and my trainer, has to give me a break after almost every time he bends me into a pretzel or has me doing light strength work. Man, how did this happen? Just a couple years ago, I was working out on weight machines, swimming multiple laps, doing power sit-ups.

It's those darn Wendy's cheesburgers, fries and Frosties. That's what happened. Heading home from teaching class at Cal Poly Pomona twice a week, the Wendy's drive-thru window was my friend. I was so predictable, I would start giving my order into the speaker box and the employee would finish it for me.

"Make it a Large, with a Dr. Pepper, and a medium chocolate Frostie, right?" she would say. And I was sure I could hear laughter in the background.

I would inhale my meal at 9 p.m. and head home to bed. Now, I eat before my 5 p.m. class and I have stuff like ground turkey and Fage Greek yogurt.

No, Riley, I'm not skinny yet. This is going to take some time.

I suppose this cold weather should be a blessing as I sweat it out, but I'm doing my work inside a gym. No help cooling off there. In fact, all I have to do is look over at the folks swinging kettle bells around and it's enough to make me break out in a sweat.

Following Paul David's customized menu, I had salmon for dinner tonight. Even though I barbecued it out back, the smell of fish and broccoli in the kitchen was not particularly pleasant. Riley and her mom were driven out of the house. I sprayed Fabreze and opened all the windows.

So as I sit here shivering tonight, eagerly awaiting my late-night snack of protein powder and water, I'm second guessing myself. Maybe I should keep some extra pounds on during this frigid winter, just for insulation.

Seniors Corner: Community Access Center Improves Services

By Chuck Reutter

Update: The opening of the Community Access Center office has been delayed until February due to communication issues. The opening date will be announced when the center is ready to go forward with its efforts to provide help to people who are dealing with disabilities.

A Community Access Center office will soon open in the Sun City section of Menifee to provide services needed by seniors, including Senior Low Vision Kits, wheelchair ramps, help with sight issues and other issues to help people with disabilities remain independent.

CAC is one of 29 Independent Living Centers in California. An independent living center is a consumer controlled, community based, cross disability, nonresidential private nonprofit agency that is designed and operated within a local community by individuals with disabilities.

Independent living services maximize the ability to live independently in the environment of one’s own choosing. The 29 independent living centers offer five core services mandated by the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. California added two additional core services.

Cores services provided at the CAC will be:

Information and referrals
Advocacy
Independent living skills
Assistive technology
Peer counseling
Personal Assistance Services
Housing

Independent living, as seen by its advocates, is a philosophy, a way of looking at disability and society, and a worldwide movement of people with disabilities working for self-determination, self-respect and equal opportunities. In the context of eldercare, independent living is seen as a step in the continuum of care, with assisted living being the next step.

Proponents of the IL Movement claim that preconceived notions and a predominantly medical view of disability contribute to negative attitudes toward people with disabilities, portraying them as sick, defective and deviant persons, as objects of professional intervention, as a burden for themselves and their families, dependent on other people’s charity.

Chuck Reutter, a longtime resident of the Sun City area of Menifee, shares his thoughts on the senior scene here monthly.

Menifee Mom: Legos, Kiddos and an Exercise Routine

This is the first installment of a weekly column by Michelle Walsh, who is a Menifee resident, a wife and mother of three young girls. She is a former teacher who enjoys running, exercise, sewing, gardening and socializing. Michelle and her family are always on the go. She likes to know what is going on around town and looks forward to writing about her adventures in our town. We hope you enjoy her perspective on life and motherhood in Menifee.

By Michelle Walsh




It’s January, you want to get fit, and now is the best time to do it, right? Every television ad is selling you a weight loss program, “Biggest Loser” season 14 just started, your local gym has no sign-up fees, and Target has Yoga Mats for half price.

Let’s do this! You’re pumped! But before you are about to sit in front of the big screen with your new best friend Jillian Michaels, you are summoned to the bathroom to wipe a tushy, then off to the kitchen to refill a Sippy cup, and you step on a Lego on your way back to the television.

By the time you limp back to your Yoga Mat, the 20-minute workout that promised to give you abs of steel is over. You feel defeated, and you haven’t even started.

I’m here to tell you that you CAN do it. Super Moms unite! Finding time to take care of you is the most important thing you can do for your family. My exercise time is my renewal time.

Here are some ways I make an exercise routine work for me and am able to stay consistent:

First, set a goal. Small goals are great to begin with -- a 20-minute walk, or run, a Zumba class, whatever interests you. Write your goals down, say them out loud, or share them on Facebook. Personally, I like to run, so finding a local race to sign up for keeps me on track and gives me a goal to work toward. You can be sure that when I post on Facebook, “Off for a 3-mile run”, it’s going to get done.

Consistency is KEY! Nothing is harder than trying to start something challenging again and again. Look at your calendar, find the periods of time when you can fit in exercise, and make it happen. I find that planning out my week and writing it down on the calendar helps. Sometimes you have to get the kids involved; that’s great. Think of the example you are setting by being a role model for a healthy lifestyle. It won’t be long before your family will know that Thursdays are Mommy’s Zumba days.

Find a support system. Sometimes it is your neighbor, your spouse, or your best friend. Don’t have anyone near and dear that likes to exercise? Try finding a support group that can help you achieve your goal. A simple online search should point you in the right direction. I have found a support group of women who like to run. We keep each other motivated and on track.

If you make it a priority, exercising and raising a family at the same time is not only possible, but very rewarding. Setting goals, being consistent and finding support along the way can help you achieve a routine that can be maintained year-round. So grab that Yoga Mat, your running shoes, or your Zumba skirt, and go show Jillian how it’s done!

Observations, Questions and Tips About Life

Featuring Bill Rhoads

This is the first installment of a weekly feature in which Sun City resident Bill Rhoads shares his thoughts, primarily in the form of his "tips about life." Bill keeps a written record of "tips" that come to mind and has a strong motivation to share them with others. His purpose in doing so is to stimulate his own thinking and to stir some ideas into the pot of life.

Bill writes songs and some poetry. He is a musician/band leader who has played music worldwide. He served in the U.S. Army as a paratrooper and an Army Ranger. Bill is a Vietnam veteran who appreciates our veterans' service and sacrifice. This is clear in much of his writing.

In most cases, Bill's entries will be brief. He doesn't consider this a column as much as an opportunity to throw some thoughts out there for you to ponder -- usually only one or two at a time.


Life is good. I believe in God and The Golden Rule. I want to share that message with others, and share also some of my "tips about life." Here are a couple of tips to think about:


The problem with today’s "throw away marriages" is they leave a lot of "throw away kids."

Lies kill more than bloody war.

If you have thoughts and/or responses to Bill's tips, leave a comment here or send emails with your feedback to doug.spoon@gmail.com.

A Doug's Life: Maintaining a Bridge over the Generation Gap

As I write this, the Beatles' "Hey Jude" is playing on my iPod. That tune always takes me back to the eighth grade, when I would listen to it on cassette tape (remember those)?

Now, however, it is just a memory and nothing more. In fact, I'm tempted to fast forward a track or two until I get to something by Sons of the Pioneers. Or Gene Autry. A little Hank Williams, perhaps. Something with a banjo.

A lot changes in 45 years -- and I'm not talking only about my expanding waistline, which we discussed last time. No, it occurs to me that during that time, I have become my father. My grandfather, even.

I'm a grandpa myself, and I actually like Bluegrass music, Country tunes, the Big Band era -- all the stuff I used to laugh at my dad for listening to. Roger Miller's "King of the Road" is downright soothing. "Tumblin' Tumbleweeds" could be my theme song -- or anything with yodeling and a harmonica.

Yes, there is a generation gap. The thing is, eventually we all travel across it to the other side. I like to think I still have a foot on each side of the canyon. Maybe that's why I enjoy living here in Menifee.

This is a place where I can mingle with the kids at a Soap Box Derby one minute and chat with the senior citizens at Bingo the next. One night, I'm interviewing high school football players. The next day, I'm writing about a lady who just turned 100.

And the best part is, I'm never more than a minute or two away from an old cowboy, a horse trail, or somebody singing an old tune.

I still enjoy moments shared with the younger set. Heck, I teach college journalism part-time. I don't understand the lyrics of half the songs they listen to, but I still feel a connection. Yet more and more, I find myself at home on the other side of the "gap."

Give me an afternoon strolling around Tom Fuhrman's Wooden Nickel Ranch. Or patting the horses on Lynn Mattocks' ranch down the road. Or listening to Paul Burleson, aka Mr. Burley, performing Old West songs.

The other day, I wrote in a column that I'm starting to limp around like Walter Brennan in a John Wayne movie. Someone wrote me saying she loved that line, but wondered how many would know who Walter Brennan was.

Good question. But at least with celebrities, we have electronic means of turning back the clock. I have Riley, my 4-year-old granddaughter, hooked on a 1968 Disney movie called "The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band." In it, Brennan plays his familiar grandpa character -- dancing, singing and generally being ornery. His act wouldn't fly in today's entertainment world, but for some reason little Riley will sit there and watch it, fascinated.

I think it's up to all us "old folks" to find ways to walk back over that bridge and interact with the younger ones on the other side of the generation gap. We've found out for ourselves that traveling across the gap isn't so bad, but they haven't found that out yet. We must find ways to show them the good parts of our side, while being tolerant of the stuff they're into.

In our diverse community of Menifee, we're in the perfect place for it.

The Caregivers' Journey: Go Ahead, Toot Your Horn

By Marsha Kay Seff

"The Caregivers' Journey" will appear here monthly. Marsha Kay Seff wrote and edited the San Diego Eldercare Directory for 10 years. She knows first-hand about the ups and downs of caregiving, as she brought her aging parents to San Diego from Miami Beach in order to look after them. Her column will discuss the challenges faced by adults in caring for their aging parents. Direct email inquiries or responses to mkseff@gmail.com.

As a caregiver, having a big mouth is an asset. If you don’t already have one, you might want to develop one. Because opening your mouth – shouting until someone hears what you’re saying – is one of the biggest parts of being a caregiver.

You are your parents’ advocate now. When they’re too ill to speak for themselves or can’t recall what they wanted to say, you need to speak up.

That doesn’t mean you ignore their wishes. Understanding what they want is the first step in getting what they need. Unfortunately, too many people, including their own doctors, write off all older folks as being daffy. When the world ignores your loved ones, you need to remind people that older folks need to be treated with respect.

After years of talking to one of my mother’s doctors on the phone, I finally met him in person. He walked into the office, shook my hand and looked perplexed. "I thought you were much taller," he said.

Yes, I speak a lot louder than my 4-foot-11 stature.

As a dutiful daughter, it seemed I was always advocating for my aging parents. They weren’t even off the plane from their home in Miami Beach to San Diego, where I’d found them a retirement home, when I had to put on my advocate’s hat.

After waiting more than an hour for their plane to pull up to the gate (that was before airport security was tightened), I asked someone what the delay was. He said my parents’ plane couldn’t get in until another plane pulled out. So I simply informed the gate agent that there were two sick people on the inbound plane, that he would have to tell the other plane to pull back. He did. When I climbed aboard to retrieve my parents, the captain asked if I’d had anything to do with the arrangements – and thanked me.

When someone at mom’s health insurance company refused to talk to me on the phone about my mother’s bill, which I’d always paid, I hung up and redialed – and introduced myself as my mother. I got what I needed.

I learned to work around a lot of things during the 12 years I was my parents’ dutiful daughter, their best friend and their liaison with a not-always-receptive world.

Sponsored by Right at Home, In-Home Care & Assistance, www.rahtemecula.com, (951) 506-9628, loretteoliver@rahtemecula.com. Contact Marsha Kay Seff at mkseff@gmail.com.